Monday, July 10, 2006

Happy Birthday to George Bush

What do you give a man who truly has everything? Take, for instance, George W. Bush, who turned 60 this past July 7. What can you give a man like him? Well, if you're still looking for belated gifts, try any one of these:

-Osama Bin Laden
-60 spankings at Gitmo
-a policy...any policy
-Monica Lewinsky for a night
-a lap dance
-a copy of Brokeback Mountain

OK, say you're from a RED state. You can't vote for him anymore; he's on his last term. And you absolutely loved how he has handled this country's gay problem. How about one of these:

-"I'm with stupid t-shirt"...for when he jogs alone
-an American flag...or a Confederate Flag (same difference to him)
-a copy of Fahrenheit 911...with your own personal edits (that's not so RED state since you're probably not going to buy a copy of Fahrenheit 911)
-a gun
-protective head gear for hunting with Dick Cheney
-a gallon of gasoline
-a picture of New Orleans' beautiful skyline

Yes, you can give the man something. He does deserve a birthday gift. He is, after all, for better or worse, the worst president in the history of the world. And that's hard to do.

The Yeetle Box

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Under Seige

Send help. Under seige. Rockets red glares all around. Loud poppers. Crackers, too. Last message.

The Yeetle Box
The Yeetle Box

Independence Day

Did you know that Independence Day does not fall on July 4th? That's right! On July 4th the Declaration of Independenc was signed. BUT, and this is a big BUT, declaring independence does not make it so!

So, let's get out facts straight:

1. The Continental Congress declared that the independent United States of America was no longer a part of Great Britain. OK, so where is the Continental Congress now? Huh? Don't konw, do ya.

2. There were no fireworks on July 4, 1776!

3. There were no barbecues!

4. Most damning, July 4, 1776 was NOT a holiday.

Now what do you say to all that?

There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who can't.

The Yeetle Box
The Yeetle Box