Tuesday, October 31, 2006

The Yeetle Box - Halloweenies

I hate Halloween. I am the Grinch of Halloween.

I eat all the candy.

I ask for tricks, and never give treats.

I don't dress up.

I am the Grinch of Halloween.

And you consumers out there who spend more on costumes, candy, and decorations spend more on Halloween than you donate to charities.

It's not easy being the Grinch of Halloween.

The Yeetle Box
The Yeetle Box

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Are Ya Fer It, Or Agin it?

Oh George, you've done it again. You went and signed a bill TODAY - just before the midterm elections, authorizing 700 miles of new fencing along the U.S.-Mexico border. Amd leaves roughly 1400 miles without a fence. Hey, if you're going to do it badly, do it right!

It would be quite a fence, though. Let's put this into perspective. A 700 mile fence is the equivalent in distance from New York to Chicago! In his trademarked repeitive style, Bush said, “We have a responsibility to enforce our laws. We have a responsibility to secure our borders. We take this responsibility serious.”

(Should be "seriously", but, then again, it's George W. Bush, President and Wordmeister. The Dr. Seuss of political speak.)

The measure Bush put into law Thursday before heading for campaign stops in Iowa and Michigan offers no money for the fence project covering one-third of the 2,100-mile border. The remaining two-thirds would be wide open. Yea! That'll keep those illegal immigrants from coming into the country from THAT part of the border.

Hey, George, do the words "Berlin Wall" mean anything to you? Oh, how about "The Great Wall of China." Both failures.

Oh, I forgot, you do fail at everything you do - even trying to influence elections with stupid, made up projects with no budget.

Sens. John Cornyn and Kay Bailey Hutchison, both Texas Republicans, had wanted to amend the fence bill to give local governments more say about where fencing is erected. They lost that battle, but Republican leaders assured them the Homeland Security Department would have flexibility to choose other options instead of fencing, if needed. Like, maybe, a great big ass moat!

Cornyn said he voted for the fence because he wanted to help demonstrate that Congress was serious about border security.

“The choice we were presented was: Are we going to vote to enhance border security, or against it?” Cornyn said. “I think that’s how the vote was viewed.”

Fer it, or agin it?

Sound familiar?

The Yeetle Box
The Yeetle Box

Just Checking Messages

Just checking messages.

Have you just checked messages? Ever? Just to see if there were any messages? If you have ever checked messages just to see if you had any messages, did you have any messages? If you did have any messages when you checked messages just to see if you had any messages, how many messages did you have?

The Yeetle BoxThe Yeetle Box

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

The Yeetle Box - Dennis Hastert is Nuts

Dennis Hastert said that persons making $40,000 a year don't pay taxes anyway, so the tax cuts wouldn't effect them.

He nuts.

Or stupid.

Or both.

The Republican Party is chocked with weird ass people with weird ass backgrounds who say weird ass things.

And this one is right up there with any dumb thing Bush has said.

What's with this people?

The Yeetle Box
The Yeetle Box

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

George Bush A Symbol of Devolution

A study published in the New England Journal of Medicine has determined that George W. Bush is the dumbest man ever and represents the devolution of the human race. The study predicts that by the year 2030, an entire generation of homo sapiens will number at least 1,000,000. This trend will continue until the homo bush-apien is the dominant species on the planet, hitting its peak at 1 billion by 2075.

Oddly enough, scientists believe the cause is related to social rather than environmental factors, including low voter turnout and larger consumption of contaminated water.

The study notes that this phenomenon is the first solid evidence of evolution in more than a million years.

The homo chenien will also emerge, but die quickly as they will shoot each other in the face until completely extinct.

The good news? A rise in underground shelters will coincide, preserving a more intelligent form of the human race until all of the homo bush-agiens become extinct from diminished supplies of their primary food source: fear.

The Yeetle Box
The Yeetle Box

Friday, October 13, 2006

Yeetle Box - Paraskevidekatriaphobia

Do you have a fear of Friday the 13th? Does it make you feel anxious? Nervous?


Because of you, your fear has a name: paraskevidekatriaphobia. Is that the worst name for a phobia ever? It's unpronouncable. And I can't even pronounce "unpronouncable."

OK, so where did this fear originate? Who are the dwarfed minds who started all of this? Some say it's the devil's number. Some refer to the Last Supper + 1 (13 for those with arithmeticaphobia).

I say it's the baker's dozen. You, my friend, fear donuts! Particularly donuts purchased on Fridays. So you are doubly idiotic.

Now, if you're in need of a phobia - something to mention at parties or to strangers, or something to excuse yourself from social and/or work gatherings, I have developed a short list of more plausible, though lesser known, phobias. To whit:

-Masturbatoriaphobia - fear of masturbating in a public place

-Chenaphobia - fear of being shot in the face by a friend

-Aesuckaphobia - fear of sucking at a particular task or excerise, thereby rendering you incapable of even attempting the task or excersise. This should not be confused with fear of failure, since that fear is accounted for. Aesuckaphobia is more inwardly driven and is characterized by the all important element of whininess.

-Existentialaphobia - fear of existence, past, present, and future.

Well, keep those fears coming. There are more phobias than freakin' nouns!

The Yeetle Box
The Yeetle Box

Friday, October 06, 2006

The Yeetle Box - Looking Good in November for Republicans

Tom Foley is a pedophile.
Hastert covered up for Tom Foley.
George W. Bush exhibits schizoid behavior, has disconnected from reality, and has ties to the Nazis.
Karl Rove has ties to the Nazis and might still get indicted on that Valerie Plame deal.
911 is still up for interpretation.
Dick Cheney shot a man in the face.

I'd say November looks good for the Republican party.

The Yeetle Box
The Yeetle Box