Monday, March 31, 2008

Yeetle Box - Spam Like This...

In a world, where spam flows freely, one man is about to unlock the door...



Dear Brian,


How many times have you asked why it can't be YOU? Sure, we complain about 'The Man' but what if you knew his deepest secrets? Even better, what if he mentored you to his level of success for FREE?


...to reveal the secrets of wealth...

You see, one of the people best known to people as 'The Man' is letting the cat out of the bag...
There's a shortcut to riches 'he' used. A tried and tested, foolproof way to hotwire the system and join 'The Man' instead of living off the scraps from his table.




...and discover THE BIGGEST SECRET OF THEM ALL!

We live in uncertain times. Either you wait for 'The Man' to axe your livelihood or learn his all his tricks before it's too late.


Discover the big secret by clicking here.


Best Regards,
Mark Patrick






Your World Will Never be the Same Again When You Uncover ‘The 5 Secrets’ this Secret Society Protects…
--The New York Times


“Snatched from ‘The Man’: The ‘Secret’ Wealth Plans He Doesn’t Want YOU to Have!”
--The Washington Post

Exposed: The Quick-Cheat Blueprints to VAST sums of cash and unlimited power and freedom…







...you will risk everything.


Freedom by Friday is a FREE weekly Internet newsletter published by The League of Power. The League of Power is a secret society dedicated to the liberation of its members from slavery to ‘The Man’ by means of FREE information and a FREE profit opportunity filtering service. Subscription to Freedom by Friday does NOT guarantee an invitation to The League of Power. Full League of Power membership is by strict invitation ONLY if and when places become available. The League of Power reserves the right to expel any subscriber or member for any reason. CURRENT ACCEPTANCE RATE: 7.28% FBFA


The Yeetle Box

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Yeetle Box - GISBURNE TOLERANCE TEST!

WHAT IS YOUR TOLERANCE FOR ZIETGEIST MAN?
HOW LONG CAN YOU LISTEN TO HIM?

Listen for as long as you can.
Then, when you absolutely cannot stand it anymore,
note the length of time you listened.

Current best time - 2:32.

Go!




Well, how did you do?

You still there?

Hello?

Hello?


The Yeetle Box

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Yeetle Box - The Broad Appeal of Barrack Obama

THE BROAD APPEAL OF BARRACK OBAMA
IN PICTURES



Hawkeyes Heart Obama!

Endorsement of Obama Points Up Clinton’s Obstacles


Obama courts the ladies of The View, co-hosted by ABC News correspondent Barbara Walters, moderator Whoopi Goldberg, comedian Joy Behar, actress/comedian Sherri Shepherd and designer and former Survivor: The Australian Outback participant Elisabeth Hasselbeck.


LGBT Obama supporters marched in NYC’s Pride Parade in June.


Robin Morgan tells young feminist Obama supporters we'e scaredy-cat bimbos.


Another Michelle Fan!


HUH?


Thursday, March 27, 2008

Yeetle Box - AT&T Breaks Pledge, Keeps Pledge to Shareholders

AT&T pledged in 2006 to bring back 5,000 customer service jobs to the U.S. from India, eliminating its low-wage foreign call centers. But CEO Randall Stephenson said this week he can't find enough skilled workers to fill the jobs. In a related move, AT&T is looking to revamp their recruitment strategies.

"We're having trouble finding the numbers that we need with the skills that are required to do these jobs," Stephenson told a business group in San Antonio. "Skills like talking and reading English are just not in abundance in the United States. In India, they speak and read English very well, and they just show up for work, and we don't have to pay overtime! Those are the skills we need to honor our pledge. Now, we did bring back 1,400 jobs by expatriation, so that's a promising business plan for the future."

Stephenson gave an especially candid speech, deploring the fact that the high school dropout rate is as high as 50% in some cities.

"If I had a business that half the product we turned out was defective or you couldn't put into the marketplace, I would shut that business down," he said. He added that his company can do work in Bangalore, India, just as easily as it could in the U.S. "With release," he muttered.

"I know you don't like hearing that, but that's the way it is," he said.

Right, Mr. Stephenson. You tell them. If YOU had a business that was 50 percent defective...You DO have a business that is 50 percent defective, you idiot. You can't even hire 5,000 people from the United States during a time of high unemployment, a banking crisis, a housing crisis, and an airline crisis. Workers have been displaced, let go, downsized. CALL THE FREAKIN' UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICES.

Perhaps Stephenson should consider this: AT&T only pays
a $30,000 annual salary for those jobs. JESUS!


Or, perhaps, we could rethink AT&T's organizational structure.



Naw...


The Yeetle Box

Yeetle Box - Beating Up Patty

At a time when Sen. Hillary Clinton is increasingly relying on superdelegates to vault her to the Democratic Party's nomination, a handful of undecided and pledged superdelegates are coming forward to say her campaign's tactics in recent weeks are doing more harm than good. The Democratic Party insiders say they believe Clinton's direct attacks against Sen. Barack Obama in recent days are hurting the party and its chances in November, and also say it is showing a calculated, desperate-to-win side of Clinton that they dislike.

-From NBC/NJ's Matthew E. Berger


======================================================



I'll take McCain over Obama ANY day ANYTIME. Idon't want a racist, Anti-American for President. Clinton 08
-Patty,sd,ca (Sent Wednesday, March 26, 2008 6:06 PM)

If Hillary doesn't win the nomination, I'm going to hold my breath until I turn blue. Then I'm going to vote for John McCain, just to prove to the world how big a Hillary supporter I am. Who cares if he wants to keep the U.S. in Iraq for 100 years, or that he'll pack the Supreme Court with conservatives, or that he'll continue the Bush tax cuts for the rich? What's really important to me is being spiteful and teaching America a lesson that if Hillary can't be president, then NO Democrat can. Nyah.
-michael, woodland hills, ca (Sent Thursday, March 27, 2008 7:55 AM)






  • Patty as a Obama supporter I would not want your vote anyhow. Get informed, please read and comprehend what you are reading. A racist- Obama, prove.
    --Chris lawrence Plainville MA (Sent Thursday, March 27, 2008 7:57 AM)

  • Hey Patty, I look at you as being in the group that wouldn't vote for Obama in the general, but would you still vote for McCain if it was a Obama(Prez)/Clinton(Vice-Prez) ticket? Because I believe that that is what will have to happen to bridge the divide within the party. But I haven't heard any polls about that possibility yet. And if there are other people out there that has Patty's view point (not vote 4 Obama in the general if and when Clinton concedes), what are your thoughts.
    --Paul, Dallas TX (Sent Thursday, March 27, 2008 7:57 AM)

  • Yes, Patty, he's racist against half of himself. Give me a break.
    --Anne, Pittsburgh, PA (Sent Thursday, March 27, 2008 7:57 AM)

  • Patty, I see your comment as very unwarranted and contradictory. He won't be running for President if he's anti-American. You can't visit the iniquity of one person over another. Afterall, he's not a pathological liar like some other.......Be more objective! Independent 08
    --Sunday Buckman, Los Angeles, Calif. (Sent Thursday, March 27, 2008 7:57 AM)

  • I have on occasion read some of these blog entries. Many are not necessarily my opinion, but they are well-written and offer insight. However, having said that, there are a few - Patty,sd,ca, for an example who seem to only want to spew hate, bigoty and racism. Because we have 1st Amendment rights, she is allowed to write these statements. But I ask: Anyone who wants to give an opinion, please educate yourselves fully on whatever issue it is you rant about. And please check spelling and grammar. Thanks.
    --Robbie Weiner, New Haven, CT (Sent Thursday, March 27, 2008 8:03 AM)

  • Patty,sd,ca, What make Obama a racist? Rev. Wright? Because if his ties to his former pastor make him a racist, then just about every white american is a racist for their ties to their ancestors, also America itself is racist for it ties to past racial injustice. How crazy does that sound!! Look you can support Clinton without spreading the lies that her campaign is putting out. Or maybe just maybe, what you are saying is that you would never vote for an African American, now does that make you a racist? I'm warning all Americans, black and white, Hispanic and Asian, be careful with race issues, the last thing we need in this country is a racial explosion, because the America we love will never be the same. Look around the world where racial wars are going on, they are very unstable dangerous places, just look at Iraq.
    --Tony, Orlando, FL (Sent Thursday, March 27, 2008 8:06 AM)

  • "I'll take McCain over Obama ANY day ANYTIME. Idon't want a racist, Anti-American for President." I don't see how comments like these get posted all the time from this particular individual. Saying Obama is racist and anti-American demonstrates an appalling depth of ignorance that is frightening in its scale. Please be specific about how Obama is anti-American or racist. Please explain why when viewed in its proper context, your example proves your point. Your comments have consistently been nothing but vitriol and uniformed drabble so its time to put up or shut up.
    --BobW Mendon, NY (Sent Thursday, March 27, 2008 8:07 AM)

  • To Patty,sd,ca: You have got to be the most ignorant person on this blog. Why don't you just give it up? You obviously have no integrity, common sense or intelligence. You don't know the definition of racist. Remember Obama is half white and was raised entirely by that side of the family. Why don't you go do something productive with your life?
    --Jim Black (Sent Thursday, March 27, 2008 8:08 AM)

  • Patty, If you don't want a racist for President, don't run.
    --CG, Orlando, FL (Sent Thursday, March 27, 2008 8:09 AM)

  • Ignorance must be bliss, especially in the case of the so-called sd, Patty, CA. Can you explain what undeniable evidence you have, that can prove your idiotic conclusions you have made. Just because you heard 30 sec. of a sermon, which I'm pretty sure that you've never heard the rest of speech. It's very disturbing that someone appointed or elected you this position.
    --Jay, Atlanta, GA (Sent Thursday, March 27, 2008 8:09 AM)

  • The reason why we have George Bush is because people like you. Now who's racist, Anti-American. You would vote for a republican all because your girl didn't win. How stupid is that..God help us because we have alot of idiots in America.
    --roger, ft.lee, Va (Sent Thursday, March 27, 2008 8:13 AM)

  • So Patty wants an ancient, war loving Bush clone? She must really have enjoyed the past 7 years.
    --Ol' Lefty (Sent Thursday, March 27, 2008 8:14 AM)

  • Patty, to say Obama is a racist is just ignorant. You don't deserve to vote until you educate yourself a little more. You have passed the "ready to vote" test yet.
    --Tom (Sent Thursday, March 27, 2008 8:18 AM)


    I WILL VOTE FOR MCCAIN AS WELL IF OBAMA GETS IN ANYTIME. HILLARY IS THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN HELP THIS COUNTRY. OBAMA IS A RACIST AND A MUSLIN. OH WASN'T IT MUSLIN'S WHO FLEW PLANES INTO THE TWIN TOWERS. HE IS FOOLING ALOT OF PEOPLE. WAKE UP AMERICANS!!!!
    --Sandy Charlotte NC (Sent Thursday, March 27, 2008 8:19 AM)

  • Patty, Throw away your democratic party principals. Vote for war, corporate profiteering, and the destruction of the middle class. GO! Your one of them anyway.....
    --Ted Mitchell, Jackson MI (Sent Thursday, March 27, 2008 8:20 AM)

  • Patti, above, is the type of ill informed democrat that the party needs to re-educate, her opinion cannot be the product of serious in depth review of Obama's positions and history, because the racist charge would show itself to be jaw droppingly wrong, but instead she relies on the media's spin through selective sound bites. Thoughtful voter indeed.
    --mkd, pa (Sent Thursday, March 27, 2008 8:20 AM)

  • Patty wake up and smell the coffee....you would openly support a lier? .... what does that say of your morales and or character?....show real honest to goodness PROOF that Obama is a Racist and is Anit-American.....heres the rub....YOU CAN'T! Steve from Beautiful Oklahoma
    --Steve, Ada Oklahoma (Sent Thursday, March 27, 2008 8:21 AM)

  • Patty, that's a disturbing comment. Has Obama said ANYTHING "anti-American"? Has Obama said ANYTHING that says he is not patriotic? Isn't Obama's very own mother white!?! Is your claim that Obama dislike's his own mother? I pray that we as an American people do not fall into the hype and try to analize this situation a bit further.
    --Owen, Atlanta, GA (Sent Thursday, March 27, 2008 8:21 AM)

I'll take McCain over Obama ANY day ANYTIME. Idon't want a racist, Anti-American for President. Clinton 08

--Patty,sd,ca (Sent Wednesday, March 26, 2008 6:06 PM)

  • Ghhezzzzzz! Go away patty will you.
    -C A, Tuscaloosa, AL (Sent Thursday, March 27, 2008 8:22 AM)
======================================================

Will Patty go away?
Stay tuned.
Keep free speech alive.
Happy blogging.

The Yeetle Box

Yeetle Box - Nothing of Substance

Nothing of substance happened today.
Please enjoy this entertaining Tom and Jerry cartoon.




Now, go to bed.

The Yeetle Box

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Yeetle Box - Hillary Clinton Demonstrates Bravery "Did I Say Sniper? Ooops!"


Hillary Rodham Clinton's campaign said Senator Clinton "misspoke" when saying last week she had landed under sniper fire during a trip to Bosnia as first lady in March 1996. She later characterized the episode as a "misstatement" and a "minor blip."

"Even then, it all depends on what the meaning of "blip" is," she added.

During a speech last Monday on Iraq, she said of the Bosnia trip: "I remember landing under sniper fire. I threw myself on a bomb to protect Chelsea."


She thought for a minute or two, then continued, "Then, I grabbed the nearest weapon and opened fire on the insurgents. After subduing them, I took their weapons and negotiated peace in Bosnia. Honest! There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead they just ran with their heads down to get into the vehicles to get to the base."



According to an Associated Press story at the time, Clinton was placed under no extraordinary risks on the trip. And one of her companions, comedian Sinbad, told The Washington Post he has no recollection either of the threat or reality of gunfire."I was just there for the jokes, you know? I'm not running for president."

Said Senator Clinton, "It's a damned good think Sinbad isn't running for president. He can't tell the difference between snipers and hecklers!"

Let's let this video of the visit decide this matter once and for all.



Final Score:

Sindbad 1
Clinton 0

The Yeetle Box

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Yeetle Box - Double Stuf-ed in Connecticut


Police say a man's excuse for speeding through a small Connecticut town takes the cake....er...cookie.

A state trooper who stopped the 1993 BMW says its driver, 28-year-old Justin Vonkummer of Millerton, New York, blamed his driving problems on an errant Oreo.

Vonkummer told the trooper that an Oreo had slipped out of his hand as he dunked it in a cup of milk, and that he was trying to fish it out when he lost control of his car.

Vonkummer's attorney issued the following statement: Mr. Vonkummer is a participant in the Double Stuf Racing League, and, as such, is exempt for any traffic violations."

Details of the Double Stuf Racing League can be found here: http://nabiscoworld.com/oreo/dsrl/home.aspx.

City attorneys are dismayed since the Double Stuf Racing League defense could create a precedent the likes of which no one in Connecticut has known, nor can offset.

Said a city official, "This is nothing like the cell phone defense. This is something that has the support of the entire National Football League! We're at a loss right now. Damn you, Peyton and Eli Manning. Damn your super bowl rings!"

Vonkummer continues to practice his double stuf dunk maneuver within his BMW.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Yeetle Box - God Wants Me To Be Rich (And so do you!)

We live in economically nefarious times - declining dollar, trade imbalance, shaky stock market, declining wages, unemployment. So, what does the Bible or the Koran actually say about money? Does God want us to own a fleet of yachts 100 cubits by 100 cubits by 100 cubits? Or does he want us to focus on more spiritual matters and live in abject poverty? Or, like so many economic scholars, does he impart the wisdom that we need a strong middle class.




The answer to each of these questions is no. God wants you to give your money to me - specifically.

Scriptures say that a portion of your earnings should be returned through gifts to charity and offerings to the church -- tithings, if it were. I am suc a tithing.

Carolyn Castleberry, a writer in Virginia Beach, Va., talks about this idea in her series of financial-empowerment books for women, based on Biblical principles. "Proverbs 31 has been held up as a standard," says Castleberry. "And the Lord saith, give thy money to he who is a Master of all things Yeetle."

According to Castleberry, the Bible addresses the topic of money more than any other issue -- more than 2,000 passages discuss it. The No. 1 rule? "To tithe or give back," she says, quoting Malachi 3:10: "Bring to me the first of your possessions and I'll open up the skies of heaven."

So, you, gentle reader, who desire nothing more than seeing the skies of heaven open, must give to me your money. It's was God wants.

And he wants you to invest so that you will have more money to give to others - a.ka. me. Consider the parable from Matthew that discusses a boss who gave his three employees a certain amount of money. Two of them invested it, while the third took his portion and buried it. When the boss returned, he was dismayed by the third man's actions.

"It wasn't enough," says Castleberry. "We need to learn to make money on our money." And then hand it over to me!

Steve Maxwell, 45, a commercial-real-estate investor, business owner and "financial fluency" teacher in Windsor, Colorado agrees. He has encouraged each of his three kids to acquire a major asset, such as a business or property, while they are still in their teens. He, too, emphasizes the importance of giving back, mentioning a tenet from Proverbs 11:25: "A generous man will prosper, and he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed."

In other words, he who refreshes me, refreshes himself.

Says Maxwell, who is smart, "My belief of that is that's not just talking about money -- you can be generous in lots of ways -- but it also does apply to money. And there is only one logical person who should receive your money - unless you want to burn in hell."

Praise thee, Mawell. God wants me to be rich (and so do you!)

The Yeetle Box

Friday, March 21, 2008

Yeetle Box - News That Matters


  • A Pennsylvania man "went berserk" and killed his wife - for turning off the TV. Thomas Gay Wickerham, 58, shot and killed his wife in front of their children after she turned off the television। "I went berserk. She made me shoot her," he said. Wickerham pleaded guilty to third-degree murder charges and faces 40 years in prison.

  • Five drug suspects were busted in Marietta, Ohio, for allegedly selling green crack cocaine on St. Patrick's Day. The dealers had dyed the drugs green in honor of the patron saint of Ireland and were charged with trafficking in cocaine.

  • Minnesota cabby's life was saved when a 15-year-old female passenger grabbed him by the hair and tried to slash his throat - but couldn't hold on because he had too much gel in his hair. "I had styling cream in my hair, and it slipped out of her hands," Roy Carlson Jr. said. The girl attacked him after trying to stiff him on the fare।

  • The Vincent Hotel in Southport is including "intimate seduction kits" featuring lubricating gel, condoms, a vibrating ring and massage oil in 60 of its rooms। "We wanted to give them a decadent, inspiring and seductive environment to enjoy," said owner Paul Adams.

The Yeetle Box

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Yeetle Box - Cheney Visits Afghani Country Buffet?


While dining at a Old Country Buffet in an undisclosed location in Afganistan, Vice President Dick Cheney, who once shot a man in the face, said Thursday the United States will ask NATO countries to step up their commitment to help Afghanistan recover from years of tyranny and war - or else.

The Vice President, who in response to a question regarding United State's citizens' opppositin to the war in Iraq, answered "So?", met Afghan President Hamid Karzai ahead of a NATO summit where Washington will urge its allies to send more roast beef and "other home-style favorites."

"America will ask our NATO allies for an even stronger commitment for the future," Cheney, who once shot a man in the face, told a news conference outside the popular restaurant, where he made an unannounced visit.

"This is not the kind of place that requires a reservation," he quacked. "All free nations have an interest in a secure, democratic Afghanistan. We believe the commitment needs to continue and perhaps needs to be reinforced through buffets such as these."

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Yeetle Box - Move Over Little Dog

Meet BigDog.

BigDog is a four-legged robot. It trudges through snow, marches up hills, and picks itself up after slipping on ice - a critical feature for navigating the North and South poles and Alaska.

BigDog has always been surefooted -- staying on his feet after swift kicks to the flank. But the Pentagon-funded 'bot is getting stronger, and more resilient able to carry a 340 pound payload.

The military's goal, of giving soldiers a robotic pack mule, to haul around their gear, is getting closer thanks to BigDog.

Military researchers have yet to resolve the annoying mosquito sounds it makes which could possibly alert enemies that BigDog is approaching and could make for quite an easy target - thus, no more payload to soldiers.

Move over Little Dog, the BigDog is moving in.

The Yeetle Box

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Yeetle Box - Closed for the Holiday

In honor of St. Patrick's day, The Yeetle Box is closed today so that our Chicago workers may gaze with horror upon a green river. Normal business hours resume tomorrow.



Saturday, March 15, 2008

There's Prostitution and There's Prostitution


The lawyer for the call girl linked (they said "linked") to the downfall of Gov. Eliot Spitzer lashed (they said "lashed") out at the media on Friday for thrusting (they said "thrusting") the 22-year-old woman into the "public glare" without her consent and publishing revealing photos.

Since her identity was disclosed, newspapers and Web sites have splashed (they said "splashed") photos of Ashley Alexandra Dupre in suggestive poses on front and inside pages.

Her attorney, Don D. Buchwald, said she did not consent to the use of her photos in this manner, and the usage may be a violation (they said "violation") of federal copyright laws. (Huh?)He said the photos have appeared on commercial Web sites without her consent, and, by definition, a photo of a public figure is copyrighted automatically.

Buchwald stopped short (they said "short") of saying Dupre would sue media outlets, but contended she is not a public figure and said he would take "all steps that we deem necessary or appropriate to protect Ms. Dupre from any unwarranted exploitation of her name, picture, voice or likeness for purposes of profit. You see, even a call girl should not be exploited without the consent of the buyer."

Askled how much he was charging for her representation, Buchwald stated, "Well, somewhere around $1,500 an hour. You know, the going rate for this kind of business."

Ms. Dupre read from a prepared statement: "I've always depended on the kindness of strangers." She then promoted her singing career, founded in Christian rock.



The Yeetle Box

The Yeetle Box: This Day In History!

On this day in history...

Caesar summoned the Senate to meet in the Theatre of Pompey on the Ides of March. The Senate hated the Theatre of Pompey because of its no-boys policy. So they were pretty mad anyway.

A certain seer warned Caesar to be on his guard against a great peril on the day of the month of March which the Romans call the Ides; and when the day had come and Caesar was on his way to the senate-house, he greeted the seer with a jest and said: "The Ides of March has come," and the seer said to him softly: "Yes, the Ides of March has come, but it has not passed." Caesar thought that was a stupid thing to say and gave him a Roman salute, then had him crucified.

As the Senate convened - angry, frustrated - Caesar was attacked and stabbed to death by a group of senators who called themselves the Liberatores ("Liberators"), or as is commonly referred to today - The Singing Senators. They justified their action on the grounds that they committed tyrannicide and were preserving the Republic from Caesar's alleged monarchical ambitions.

And that's the 1,457th installment of...This day in history....

Happy Ides of March!


"Hey, Caesar, I got your back!"


Thursday, March 13, 2008

Yeetle Box - Spare The Rod


Danbury, Connecticut officials have been notified they are being sued by a student who was awakened in class by a teacher who made a loud noise. The student claims that, while sleeping, suffered hearing damage when his teacher woke him up by slamming her hand down on the boy's desk - apparently enough to cause damage to his eardrum.

Attorney Alan Barry says 15-year-old Vinicios Robacher suffered pain and "very severe injuries to his left eardrum" when teacher Melissa Nadeau abruptly slammed the palm of her hand on his desk on Dec. 4."What we're most interested in, quite frankly, is who ordered the code red?"

The boy stated in an incident report, "One minute I'm listening to some boring thing about algebra, and the next minute I dozed off. Then, the next minute, a sudden blow! Now, I hear badly and I have...I have...very severe inuries to my left eardrum."

A classmate stated, "Well, first of all, everybody knows Ms. Nadeau wanted to be a nun, so that says a lot about her. And she's B-0-R-I-N-G!"

A former student of Ms. Nadeau's and a cheerleader said, "Are we gonna have to yell even louder at the games? Thanks Nadeau."

Another student stated loudly, "HE'S DEAF!"

A city official says the matter has been referred to Danbury's insurance carrier and to the Commission on the Deaf and Hearing Impaired.

Said Ms Nadeau, "Connecticut's state motto is "Qui Transtulit Sustinet" meaning "He Who Transplanted Still Sustains. I sustained a student today."

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Yeetle Box - Spitz Quits!

SPITZ QUITS!

New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer resigned on Wednesday, completing a stunning (they said "stunning") fall from power after he was nationally disgraced by links to a high-priced prostitution ring. Investigators said Tuesday Spitzer was clearly a repeat customer who spent perhaps as much as $80,000 with the prostitution service over ten years or more.

"That's an average of $8,000 per year, or a little under $22 per day," said a spokesman for the investigating team. "I wonder what you get for that much money? I wonder..."

“I’m deeply sorry that I did not establish residency in Nevada," he said in his resignation speech.




Larry Craig, Bill Clinton, and Thomas Jefferson were not available for comment.

Yeetle Box

Yeetle Box - Bush Ain't No Slim Whitman

George W. Bush ain't no Slim Whitman.



In the sixth year since our nation was attacked, I wish I could report to you that the dangers had ended. They have not. And so it remains the policy of this government to use every lawful and proper tool of intelligence, diplomacy, law enforcement, and military action to do our duty, to find these enemies, and to protect the American people.

George W. Bush, 2007 State of the Union Address

Yeetle Box

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Yeetle Box - Waterboarding - The Tool Against Terrorism


WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT WATER BOARDING

Water boarding has been around for centuries. It was a common interrogation technique during the Italian Inquisition of the 1500s and was used perhaps most famously in Cambodian prisons during the reign of the Khmer Rouge regime during the 1970s (see David Corn: This Is What Waterboarding Looks Like for pictures of a Khmer Rouge water board now in a Cambodian museum). As late as November 2005, water boarding was on the CIA's list of approved "enhanced interrogation techniques" intended for use against high-value terror suspects.



In a nutshell, water boarding makes a person feel like he is drowning.

Water boarding involves strapping a person to an inclined board, with his feet raised and his head lowered. The interrogators bind the person's arms and legs so he can't move at all, then cover his face. Sometimes, the person is gagged, and some sort of cloth covers his nose and mouth; other times, his face is wrapped in cellophane.

Now that the person is prepared for interrogation, and ready to spill his guts about imminent terrorist plots against the United States, the interrogator then repeatedly pours water onto the person's face. Some have criticized the use of water, saying that, perhaps, it would be difficult for a person to speak during this experience.

However, depending on the exact setup, the water may or may not actually get into the person's mouth and nose; but the physical experience of being underneath a wave of water seems to be secondary to the psychological experience. The person's mind believes he is drowning, and his gag reflex kicks in as if he were choking on all that water falling on his face. Certainly, someone who is choking and gagging can spit out something like, "They're going to hit the World Trade Center on September...." Oops! Like so:



But not like so:



This is not water boarding. This parental abuse.

Now, some people in Washington, D.C. think water boarding is bad. Some don't - like our President and Commander-in-Chief, President George W. Bush. President Bush said Saturday he vetoed legislation that would ban the CIA from using waterboarding to break suspected terrorists because it would end practices that have prevented attacks.

Presdient George W. Bush explained in his weekly radio address, "The bill Congress sent me would take away one of the most valuable tools in the war on terror. So today I vetoed it. I vetoed it, then I vetoed it again. Then Dick [Cheney] set the bill on fire and stomped on it. Then we took the ashes of the bill and threw them into the Potomac River. That's a VEEEEE - TO!"

The bill passed both the House and the Senate. Nevertheless, as the Constitution clearly states, the will of the people does not take precedent over Presidents whose last names begin with the letter "B."


Said President George W. Bush, "This is no time for Congress to abandon practices that have a proven track record of keeping America safe - dating all the way back to olden times when America wasn't even America. Like a lot of centuries and decades ago. Even more than four score and seven years ago."



He's running for president of the United States of America.

The horror...the horror...

The Yeetle Box

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Yeetle Box - A Bug's World


The Seattle Biomedical Research Institute will pay volunteers as much as $4,000 to be bitten by mosquitoes infected with malaria. Scientists say no lives are in danger because the volunteers can be cured - either by known medical practices or by terminal illness resulting from complications from the experimental vaccine.

The institute is testing which vaccines work fastest and needs volunteers. "$4,000 is a lot of money for a college kid or a kid just out of high school or a senior citizen or any number of people desperate for cash," said a spokesman for the Institute with great enthusiasm. "Basically, the downturn in the economy provides the circumstances for an uptick in our research. It's a win-lose situation we can live with."

The head of the program, Dr. Patrick Duffy, said volunteers will spend several nights under medical supervision in a hotel. "We're thinking a Motel 8 in the deep south would be appropriate. Survivors will be upgraded to a Best Western."

All of the human trials will be reviewed for safety by the Food and Drug Administration - the government agency that brought you Vioxx!

A spokesman for PETA expressed outrage at the risk to the mosquitoes, saying, "Our core value is violated here. We support cruelty-free research. What guarantee does the Seattle Biomedical Research Institute offer the mosquito that they will not be harmed in these unnecessary experiments? None. What compensation? None. It's an outrage."

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Yeetle Box - Buy One, Get Two Free!

In Manhasset, New York, identical triplets, boys, were born last Wednesday at North Shore University Hospital — an event so rare that an obstetrician estimated it might happen just once in 200 million births - one in 60,000 births. He acknowledged it might never had happened ever before in the history of the world, and, therefore, is impossible to know.

The triplets' mother, Allison Penn, was impregnated with just one embryo through in vitro fertilization, said Dr. Victor Klein, a specialist in multiple births and high risk pregnancies who delivered the boys.

"The embryo split in half and then one half of that split again," he said. "This is the first one we're aware of in the literature in the country in which they only put back one embryo and a woman gave birth to triplets," he continued. "We're excited about the implications of a split-split pregnancy."

"Most people put back two or three embryos and you just never know. Like nature itself, it's a crap shoot. This one....whoa! That's a lot of biology right there."

Klein said identical triplets are born at a rate between one in 60,000 and one in 200 million, depending on the research - or "intelligent guessing," as it is referred to in the scientific community, accounting for the wide spread in the estimate.

Tom Penn, a wildlife biologist for the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, estimates that the family will go through 10,000 diapers a year. Mr. Penn's, who was standing around watching, made the calculation while waiting for his wife's delivery.

To help tell them apart, the boys have a dot of maroon nail polish on their fingers. Logan Thomas, who weighed 4 pounds, 12 ounces, has a mark on his thumb; Eli Kirkwood, a 4-pounder, has polish on his forefinger, and Collin McGuire, at 4 pounds, 11 ounces, has a mark on his middle finger. Except for Logan, who may have a problem with a non-functioning kidney, all the children are healthy, doctors said.

"Non-functioning kidneys pose no real health threat," said one intern. "Logan, Eli, and Collin should be just fine."

The father punched the intern in the face.

The Yeetle Box

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Yeetle Box - Jack and Hill Went Up The Hill


Movie star Jack Nicholson has assembled some of his more famous film roles in an Internet video endorsing U.S. Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton that has been viewed more than 1 million times.

The video uses clips of the three-time Oscar winner in movies like "Chinatown" ("Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown.) and "The Shining" (All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.) to praise Clinton's health-care plan and ability to lead the country at a time of war - two films whose themes and plot lines underscore Mr. Nicholson's deep commitment to healthcare and to peace in the world.

"There is nothing on this earth sexier, believe me gentlemen, than a woman you have to salute in the morning," Nicholson says in a clip from the 1992 military drama "A Few Good Men." Then added, "YOU DAMNED RIGHT I ORDERED THE CODE RED!"

"Hubba hubba hubba, money, money money, who do you trust?" Nicholson asks in his role as the Joker from 1989's "Batman."

That's followed by a clip from the 1980 horror movie "The Shining," in which Nicholson's unhinged character says: "Things could be a whole lot better." Then, in a famous scene, we see Nicholson moving up a staircase. "Gimme the bat, Obama. I'm not gonna hurt ya."

The video has been viewed more than 1.2 million times since it was released on Friday, according to YouTube statistics.



Jack, you can't handle the truth. And, Jack, you make me want to be a better man.

The Yeetle Box

Monday, March 03, 2008

Yeetle Box - Massive Sinkhole Key to Unexplained Phenomenon


A water-main break on Chicago's West Side overnight created a sinkhole that swallowed a minivan parked on the street, police said. The hole measures about 10 feet by 10 feet and is about 8 feet deep, according to geologists.

According to witness, the massive sinkhole reared up, opened its toothy mouth, swallowed the minivan, and belched. Some witnesses have reported sightings of Loch Ness and Big Foot in the vicinity as well.

The main broke sometime in the early morning Monday in the 2600 block of West Luther Street in the Little Village neighborhood, said Tom LaPorte, a spokesman for the Department of Water Management. "At that time, we dispatched a crew of repairmen who reported something that sounded like Plankton from the popular Spongebob Squarepants children's program. One repairmen was sucked in. Another shot himself. "We believe this to be the work of a villanous plot involving many real and imaginary evil forces."

By daylight, police had received reports of the large sinkhole, Officer Marcel Bright said. "If there's an evil plot occurring in this city, we need to call the mayor and Ghostbusters or report this as an X-File. Jesus Christ, this ain't no ordinary terrorist plot. It's a fucking mini-van eating sinkhole!"

Mayor Daley stated in a press conference, "This is Chicago! We can't deal with a sinkhole? What kind of incompetent relatives have I hired?"

The sinkhole has not made any formal statement at this time.

The Yeetle Box

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Yeetle Box - World Trade Center Reincarnated


The USS New York, an amphibious assault ship built with scrap steel from the ruins of the World Trade Center, was christened Saturday as a source of strength and inspiration for the nation - and as a source of oneupmanship to the rest of the world. The bow stem contains 7.5 tons of steel from the site, bore a shield with two gray bars to symbolize the twin towers and a banner over that declaring "Never Forget," a slogan among New Yorkers, the only remaining true patriots on planet earth.

"May God bless this ship and all who sail on her," ship sponsor Dotty England said before smashing a bottle of champagne against it, producing a loud thump to go with the spurting liquid and flying streamers. "Wasn't expecting that," she laughed as she passed out bottles of champagne to all of the onlookers so they could christen the ship, too!

At some point, everyone there forgot what the ship was built to do - amphibious assault.

Story after story of lives lost in, and touched by, the attacks peppered the ceremony, held under the blazing sun and broadcast on large screens. It all brought back painful memories for New York Police Lt. Matt Murphy. But the reason for his being here, though, was a source of pride, he said.

Deputy Defense Secretary Gordon England told the crowd that ship names provide a legacy, and that for their crews they serve as a source of strength and inspiration. Exactly how is unknown. Nor has it yet been announced the kinds of acts the ship will inspire. Military experts claim the ship wil be useful in the war on terror - or just as a decoy.

"It resurrects the ashes, so to speak, to do great things for our nation," said Bill Glenn, a spokesman for Northrop Grumman Shipbuilding, the ship builder - a long-time student and admirer of the Titanic.

During construction of the ship, Katrina hit New Orleans, which inspired workers to leave the disaster sight in New Orleans in order to build a boat with white people!

The billion-dollar, 25,000-ton vessel is 684 feet long, 105 feet wide. It is the fifth in a new class of warship, designed for missions that include special operations against terrorists. It can carry a crew of about 360 sailors and 700 combat-ready Marines to be delivered ashore by helicopters and assault craft - more than enough to prolong the war in Iraq for a long time or to incite another war against abstract concepts such as terror.

USS New York's prospective commanding officer is Cmdr. F. Curtis Jones, a native New Yorker. It is to be commissioned, essentially added to the fleet, next year. It could be used as part of peaceful missions or as part of war, said Adm. Gary Roughead, the Navy's chief of operations. "Most likely war," he said. "Why build it if we can't put it through its paces, eh? Or kills somebody with it? I'm not a hypocrite."

That it could be used in war did not bother Lee Ielpi, president of the September 11th Families' Association, whose son, Jonathan, a firefighter, died in the attacks. The ship won't be used for war "unless you bother us," he said in an interview. "Then we have ths huge ship, see? And you will answer to this huge ship. This ship, as it cuts through the water, is going to send a ripple. That ripple will say, 'We cherish our freedom.

He added, "But, if it sends a wave, that wave will say, 'You fucked with the wrong marine!''"

He also noted that it was a "green" ship - built from recycled metal.

"If the USS New York has to follow Osama bin Laden to the gates of hell, PCO Jones and his crew ... have my full support," he said to a standing ovation. No one is certain how to pronounce "...", but it was dramatic during the speech.

George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Condaleeza Rice were all unavailable.
For comment, I suppose.


Saturday, March 01, 2008

Yeetle Box - Sweethearts Eat Car

A Pennsylvania mail carrier was trapped inside her car for two hours when two ferocious dogs attacked her vehicle and bit through three tires. Did I say tires? Yes, did.

Robin Barton called police but when the police arrived, the dogs - Rottweiller-pitbull mixes named Judge and Justice - attacked their car, too.

The dogs' owner said the pooches were "generally sweethearts," and blamed the attack on a tire toy they had been given and ate.

Later that day, the dogs ate the owner.

The Yeetle Box

Yeetle Box - It Ain't Easy Being A YeetleMaster

Nope, it ain't easy being a YeelteMaster. Can't go anywhere without someone questioning you. This conversatin with ScratchStudly took place on March 1, 2008 at about 2:00 a.m. on www.ameegos.com. I don't go there much. Thanks, Scratch.

Sigh....

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ScratchStudly: what's a Yeetle?

  • YeetleMaster: it's a concept

ScratchStudly: what kinda concept

  • YeetleMaster: abstract concept

ScratchStudly: And your a master at it?

  • YeetleMaster: well, i have a website at www.yeetle.com, and I am the webmaster

ScratchStudly: Internet Explorer cannot display the webpage

  • YeetleMaster: that was odd...it's up
  • YeetleMaster: it's the url
  • YeetleMaster: www.yeetle.com

ScratchStudly: I se eit now

  • YeetleMaster: hear the gong?

ScratchStudly: yup

  • YeetleMaster: it goes on forever

ScratchStudly: how much Acid you eat in a lifetime?

  • YeetleMaster: not too much
  • YeetleMaster: not as much as jerry garcia

ScratchStudly: What's the point?

  • YeetleMaster: political and social satire

ScratchStudly: haven't u other sites to maintain?

  • YeetleMaster: yes, you can find them at the Yeetle Links

ScratchStudly whispers: your a weirdo

  • YeetleMaster: so?

ScratchStudly whispers: somebody has to tell you

  • YeetleMaster: ok
  • YeetleMaster: now you've told me
  • YeetleMaster: now what?

ScratchStudly whispers: I mean what's the point in maintaingin that site

  • whispering to ScratchStudly: it makes some people laugh and others think....apparently i t does neither for you

ScratchStudly whispers: i thought u were a weirdo

ScratchStudly whispers: sorry

ScratchStudly whispers: first impression

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How do things smell to you, soldier?

The Yeetle Box