Wednesday, October 29, 2008
A man stabbed his mother with a fork and pleaded guilty to felonious assault for hurling 10 pounds of frozen fowl at a neighbor.
The bird left the woman with a wound that required five surgical staples to close.
Frederick McKaney faces four years in prison.
Marking One's Territory
A Wisconsin man whose roommate refused to have sex with him got revenge by peeing on her dog.
Torey Devaux then shoved the woman's sister into a wall and punched out a window.
Police think the man was drunk.
Customs inspectors on the Texas-Mexico border discovered several links of spicy chorizo sausage hidden inside some chunky diapers whose owner, a 21-year-old woman, said they were merely soiled.
Taking sausages across the US border is illegal.
The woman was fined $300. The baby is fine.
An Austrian tram driver was fired after bidding farewell to his passengers with the Nazi salute, "Sieg hiel!"
When the passengers booed him, he responded by saying, "Can't you take a joke?"
The transit authority didn't see the humor, calling the statement "unspeakable."
Use of Nazi symbols in Austria is a crime. The man was fined an undisclosed amount.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
It was a jolt to find out on Monday that a 20-year-old who grew up among them was one of two white supremacists accused of plotting a national killing spree that would ultimately target Obama, the Democratic candidate for president. Had they could have purchase alcohol or bought good or products from a Wal-Mart the whole mad and crazy plot could have been averted.
The town surrounded by fertile cotton fields is safe and certainly not known for breeding neo-Nazis - at least, none that anyone knew.
"If we had any skinheads in this county I wasn't aware of it. We hardly know what they are," said Sam Lewis, who lives across the street from the mother of suspect Daniel Cowart. Cowart, he said, grew up in the comfortable, well-maintained neighborhood and wasn't known as a troublemaker. "Sure he caused some trouble, but that doesn't make him a skinhead. Skinheads hang around Wal-Marts. We don't have a Wal-Mart."
Cowart and Schlesselman are charged by federal authorities with possessing an unregistered firearm, conspiring to steal firearms from a federally licensed gun dealer and threatening a candidate for president. They were being held without bond.
In direct contradiction with locals, authorities described the two as neo-Nazi skinheads. An affidavit from a federal agent says they devised a plot to kill 88 people — beheading 14 of them.
The numbers 14 and 88 are symbols in skinhead culture, authorities said, referring to a 14-word phrase attributed to an imprisoned white supremacist: "We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white, Christian children" and to the eighth letter of the alphabet, H. Two "8"s or "H"s stand for "Heil Hitler." Actually, it's a 15-word phrase, but skinheads believe the word "Christian" is silent.
The killing spree was initially to target a predominantly black school, which was not identified in court documents. It was to end, authorities said, with the two suspects — dressed in white tuxedos and top hats — blasting guns from the windows of a speeding vehicle aimed at Obama.
White tuxedos and top hats?
Jim Cavanaugh, special agent in charge of the Nashville, Tenn., field office for the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco Firearms and Explosives, said authorities took the threats seriously.
At this point, there does not appear to be any formal assassination plan, Secret Service spokesman Eric Zahren said.
"Whether or not they had the capability or the wherewithal to carry out an attack remains to be seen," he said, loaded guns and a plan and motivation notwithstanding.
The investigation is continuing and more charges are possible, Cavanaugh said. He said there's no evidence — so far — that others were willing to assist Cowart and Schlesselman with the plot - other than those attending a John McCain rally - and those people don't count.
Sarah Palin spoke of that matter later that day, as she stumped in Pennsylvania, saying, "This is just more evidence that Obama hangs out with terrorists. Skinheads with white tuxedos and top hats without access to a Wal-Mart."
The crowd cheered.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Joe the plumber - aka Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, 34, of suburban Toledo, Ohio — is the first to say that he’s not the story and that no one should listen to him when it comes to tax policy. Good thinking, Joe.
“I just hope I’m not making too much of a fool of myself and can get some type of message out there as far as, you know, really watch actions and learn for yourself,” Wurzelbacher said. “Don’t take other people’s opinions. No one's opinions. Not mine especially. I'm just a plumber.”
Or is he?
- Wurzelbacher, not Wurzellburger, as McCain referred to him, isn’t a plumber, because he isn’t licensed by Toledo, Lucas County or the state of Ohio. (Oops!)
- Wurzelbacher said he worked under the license held by his boss, Al Newell of Newell Plumbing and Heating Co. of Toledo. Newell is a licensed plumbing contractor in Toledo, records show. But anyone working under Newell should have a journeyman’s plumbing license or an apprenticeship license, officials said. Joe the "not a plumber" does not hold a license for either. (You mean, I'm NOT a plumber?)
- Now, The Toledo Plumbing Board of Control may consider sanctions against Wurzelbacher or Newell. (Is that like a tax?)
- "There’s a lot I’ve got to learn” about the plumbing business."
Wurzelbacher also acknowledged that he had no specific plans for buying Newell’s business, saying he and Newell had simply talked about the idea from time to time. He might have difficulty making the purchase: Court records from his divorce show that Wurzelbacher made $40,000 in 2006. (A man can dream.)
While Wurzelbacher told Obama that he would be taxed at a higher rate because the company grossed more than $250,000 a year, Ohio business records show the company’s estimated total annual revenue as only $100,000. Actual taxable income would be even less than that. (Hey! Does that mean I get a tax break? Sure does!)
Assuming Wurzelbacher’s income as owner somehow hit $280,000 — the top end of his supposition of the company’s revenue — only the extra $30,000 would be taxed at a higher rate. (Hey! You said I would get a tax break! What gives?)
Wurzelbacher, a registered Republican, refused to say whom he would vote for, insisting that “I want the American people to vote for who they want to vote for. I just want them to be informed when they make that vote. Unlike me.”
Jimi the Guitarist speaks to Joe the Plumber
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Bachmann told the St. Cloud Times on Tuesday that she "made a big mistake" by going on MSNBC's "Hardball," a show she said she'd never seen before her appearance last week - which, if she had, she probably would have spoken more eloquently about other, less inflammatory issues such as Obama's association with terrorists and Obama's secret Muslim faith.
Earlier in the day, Bachmann told St. Cloud Rotary Club members she would like to "take back" the statement.
"I did not say that Barack Obama was anti-American, nor do I believe Barack Obama is anti-American. He loves his country, just as everyone in this room does," she told the crowd. "Nor did I call for an investigation of members of Congress for their pro-American or anti-American views. That is not what I said."
What did she say?
Oh. Well, that's different.
The Rotary Club luncheon was her first formal public appearance since Friday's interview, in which Matthews asked Bachmann if she believed Obama held anti-American views.
Her response was: "Absolutely. I'm very concerned that he may have anti-American views. That's what the American people are concerned about. That's why they want to know what his answers are."
Bachmann said Tuesday she probably should have watched "Hardball" to see what it was like before she went on it.
Tinklenberg's campaign issued a notice that he was ready to play hardball with Bachmann. No one responded.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Douglas County District Judge Marlon Polk said another factor in his decision to throw out the lawsuit, which was brought by state Sen. Ernie Chambers, I-Omaha, was the fact "there can never be service effectuated on the named defendant."
Chambers' suit, which was filed in September 2007, had sought a permanent injunction preventing the almighty from bringing about earthquakes, tornadoes and other acts of natural violence. Chambers is NOT the anti-Christ, but a thoughtful legislator committed to representing his constituents who consist primarily of people who have waited a long time to meet God face-to-face in a courtroom smackdown.
The lawmaker said he may appeal Polk's decision. Chambers noted that there is precedent in that many letters are sent to Santa Claus, though no evidence exists of these letters, yet are accepted as having been sent and received. In addition, he noted that many people communicate with God via prayer, an accepted form of conveying information to and from God.
"It is a thoughtful, well-written opinion," Chambers said of Polk's ruling. "However, like any prudent litigator, I want to study it in detail before I determine what my next course of action will be. These are grave matters."
Chambers, a 28-year veteran of the state Legislature, said, "Nobody should stand at the courthouse door to predetermine who has access to the courts," he said. "Anyone can sue anyone else, even God."
Monday, October 13, 2008
Witnesses said Wang emerged drunk from the club last Thursday, attempted to urinate outside the building, then came to blows with the security guard - rather, began to scuffle with the security guard, according to Wang's agent.
"I am the famous Wang Hao! I am the world champion! Does it matter if I beat you?" the 24-year-old Olympian said, according to one witness. Wang's fame increased exponentially after the incident and this exclamation.
A Chinese table tennis team spokesperson downplayed the incident, saying it was only a heated exchange of words. According to the spokesperson, "All drunken Olympic athletes who urinate outside kareoke clubs, then declare their superiority and scuffle with police go through this kind of phase. It's normal."
"There was no drunkenness or brawling. There was just an argument," China national team manager Huang Biao was quoted as saying in Monday's Shanghai Morning Post.
"Because Wang is a celebrity, the story has been amplified. This happens across the globe everywhere on any given day! Forget it Jake, it's Chinatown."
Saturday, October 11, 2008
The husband, 42-year-old Moeun Sarim, has taken away with him all the bits and pieces of his half a house, said his 35-year-old wife, Vat Navy.
"Very strange, but this is what my husband wanted," she said byy phone from a village about 62 miles east of Cambodia's capital, Phnom Penh. She said they ended their marriage last month. She plans to rebuild - her life.
The divorce was prompted by Moeun Sarim's jealousy about her alleged relationship with a policeman in the village. She denied having an extramarital affair. The policeman could not be reached for comment.
1. desertion without a good reason and without maintenance of and taking care of the child;
2. cruelty and beatings, persecutions and looking down on the other spouse or his or her ancestry;
3. immoral behavior, bad conduct;
4. impotence of penis; and
5. Physical separation for more than one year.
The husband could not be reached for comment, but was last seen with an axe and a chainsaw, mumbling something about in-laws.
Bou Bout, a village chief, said local officials and police were present as witnesses the day the couple split their 20-by-24 1/2 foot house into half. Unlike Western police, who would have prevented this action, Cambodians pride themselves on their "Don't ask, just look," policy when it comes to sawing houses in half.
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Shickles, in a letter sent Tuesday to 9th District Democratic Chairman Mike Jones, suggested that the candidates be hooked up to lie detecting machines at the Oct. 21 event or a separate debate.
"While this format may be unusual, I feel strongly that voters need to be able to make a clear decision without all the usual spin," Shickles wrote, which, according to "brain fingering" technology was a lie.
Sodrel's campaign said he would agree to the proposal (a lie according to body language experts), and Schansberg said he also would agree to wear a lie detector (again, a lie according to the same body language experts). Hill declined to comment for fear his comments would register as a lie on a polygraph.
The race pits Hill and Sodrel against each other for the fourth time. Sodrel unseated Hill in 2004, but Hill won the seat back in 2006. The three are scheduled to debate Oct. 21, but an official with a debate co-sponsor said lie detectors won't be included - which is a lie, according to Sodrel, who was lying.
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Here are the five biggest whoppers!
McCAIN: In Texas, it's against the law for anyone to have a pair of pliers in his or her possession.
THE FACTS: This law was repealed in 1995. However, it is still illegal in Texas to own more than five "skin massagers."
McCAIN: McCain declared that his vice-presidential nominee, as Governor of Alaska, banned moose-gazing from aircrafts.
THE FACTS: Alaska law says that you can't look at a moose from an airplane. Ms. Palin has been seen repeatedly looking at moose from a small aircraft.
OBAMA: Said the law bans eating more food in a lifetime than five whale sharks.
THE FACTS: The law allows a natural born citizen to eat about 60,000 pounds of food - the weight of about 6 elephants.
McCAIN: Asserted wrongfully that he pushed through legislation requiring the White House to use disposable plastic cutlery.
THE FACTS: In the White House, there are 13,092 knives, forks and spoons - all metal.
OBAMA: Stated he was born in Hawaii and came from humble beginnings.
THE FACTS: Honolulu is the only place in the United States that has a royal palace.
"DID I JUST HEAR THAT RIGHT?" MOMENT
McCain on Obama, brought up taxes and said, “You can’t trust this guy. He lies.”
Obama retaliated, "No! He lies!"
Once again, political history was made.
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
I see our country being able to represent those things whether that is part of the solution or not and we must not blink.
— Sarah Palin Fictional Quote Generator v1.0
Welcome, fellow patriots and friends of the United States of America to USA Patriotism! where it is all about expressing, sharing, and enjoying love and pride of this great, noble country.
We found two notable citizens representative the USA who have unique ways of expressing their love of and/or devotion to this great country which God has bleseed.
From Fort Myers...
A Fort Myers, Fla., man was arrested after he allegedly shot himself in the arm because his girlfriend refused to have sex. There were no details as to whether or not she refused oral, vaginal, or anal sex.
Jonathon Guabello, 29, was treated for the gunshot wound and then booked into the Lee County Jail on charges of threatening violence and firing a weapon in an occupied dwelling. Said the arresting officer, "Had he fired in an unoccupied dwelling, he would have been within the sprit of the law."
Guabello's 24-year-old girlfriend said the suspect had been under the influence of Xanax and alcohol when he became enraged at her refusal of his sexual overtures - two controlled substances that in combination makes one very sleepy.
She said she took her dog with her into a spare bedroom then heard two gunshots several minutes later. Her dog barked. She jumped.
The girlfriend said Guabello told her he would kill her if she dialed 911, and then stumbled into the kitchen where he was knocked unconscious when he tripped and hit his head on the oven door - a common occurrence for a Xanax and alcohol-induced, gun-toting, sex-deprived young man.
Guabello was realeased on his own cognizance but banned for 90 days from using Viagra.
From New York...
A New York man said he was confused about his route before he drove into the front of a map store in his sport utility vehicle - luckily for him!
Rodney Bailey said he was disoriented after leaving a parking garage at about 8 a.m. Thursday and made a right turn that landed him and his Ford Expedition inside a Hagstrom Map shop. "I guess I'm just a lucky guy," said Rodney. "At least I got directions."
Police said two women were clipped by the SUV and were hospitalized with non-critical injuries. However, the women clipping was not considered to be due to Rodney's disorientation, but, rather, to the fact that THEY were disoriented at the time.
The crash was ruled an accident by police and Bailey was not charged with any wrongdoing. He was, however, charged with acting really stupid and sentenced to a tongue-lashing by an appellate judge at a time and day to be determined.
The map store re-opened later in the day despite the loss of a plate glass window. Said the owner, "People need maps more than ever now!"
And I'm proud to be an American,
where at least I know I'm free.
And I won't forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.
Monday, October 06, 2008
Deborah Anderson of Boston University Medical Center and colleagues were awarded the chemistry prize for a 1985 study published in the New England Journal of Medicine that found Coca-Cola kills sperm. However, there was no cross-testing on Pepsi, RC Cola, or Dr. Pepper. Dr. Pepper might not be classified as a cola technically. This is still under review from the Scientists for Colas Board. A ruling is expected by 2012.
Ms. Anderson said she was serious in testing the soft drink because women were using it in a douche as a contraceptive and, later, to try to protect themselves from the AIDS virus. Some women just liked the fizzy feeling.
"It definitely wouldn't work as a contraceptive because sperm swims so fast," Anderson said. However, Coke made with sugar quickly kills sperm, she said, probably because sperm soak it up. "The sperm just kind of explode," she said in a telephone interview.
Currently, Ms. Anderson is working on research that looks at the pattern of protein blasts of exploding sperm. Her research is cross-cultural.
It kills the AIDS virus too, she said.
Of note, Ms. Anderson's research reveals 1.5 billion Consumer Servings per day.
Said Ms. Anderson, "There is enough Coke in the world to cure nearly any known disease. One day the Coke Cola Company will be the world's largest pharmaceutical company. Period."
Other research of note....
- The biology prize goes to a French team that found dog fleas can jump higher than cat fleas. NO actual research was done. This is still hypothetical, but the prize is in the hypothesis which blazes a trail in flea-jumping research - an area of study that has long since been inaccessible due to the lack of funding from the scientific community.
- The medicine prize was awarded to a team at Duke University in North Carolina who showed that high-priced placebos work better than cheap fake medicine. That is, patented placebos elicit a greater patient response than generic placebos.
- Dorian Raymer of the Scripps Institution in San Diego and a colleague won the physics prize for demonstrating mathematically why hair or a ball of string will inevitably tangle itself in knots. The mathematical formula was presented thus: K = BS (T) / PI.
The peace prize was given to the Swiss Federal Ethics Committee on Non-Human Biotechnology for adopting the legal principle that plants have moral standing and dignity. Until this breakthrough, it was commonly held by the scientific community that plants failed to meet the criteria for sentience. Further work in establishing vegetative rights is underway for presentation to the Swiss chapter of People for the Ethical Rights of Plants (PERP).
- A team at The University of Sao Paulo in Brazil won a special archaeology prize for showing how an armadillo can mess up an archaeological dig. Their research consisted of dumping truckloads of armadillos into an archeological dig, then observing the interaction between the armadillos and the archeologists. In 100 percent of the cases, the interactions proved negative and destructive to the archeological dig.
- The economics prize went to researchers at the University of New Mexico who learned that a professional lap dancer earns bigger tips when she is most fertile. Something about phernomes...
- David Sims of Cass Business School in London won the literature prize "for his lovingly written study 'You Bastard: A Narrative Exploration of the Experience of Indignation within Organizations'," the committee said.
Saturday, October 04, 2008
Findings by the Hanover-based Institute of Wildlife Research show that Germany's boar population rose by 320 percent last year because of better access to food and bigger litters of young.
"It's impossible for their habitat to adapt to a surge of this degree," the institute's Gunter Sodeikat said. "Well, OK, it's not impossible because, well, it's happening, but it's still weird."
Increasingly encroaching on suburban areas, boars have been reported attacking people, killing pets, and digging up corpses in cemeteries. Graveyards and gardens are being ravaged daily, police say. Zombie boars, too, have multiplied, busting through the doors of abandoned homes. Wild boars from outer space have landed in the Netherlands and are planning to meet the wild boars of Germany. Other wild boards sightings are coming in daily.
The wild boar surge has also caused mounting destruction of crops and raised the risk of swine fever spreading, Sodeikat said. Swine fever, the wild boar version of a human being's Saturday Night fever, could result in thousands of Wild Board discos popping up everywhere wild boars wish to dance. And nobody can stop them.
It should be noted that the wild boar has cross-cultural influence and reference.
- In Greek mythology, two boars are particularly well known. The Erymanthian Boar was hunted by Heracles as one of his Twelve Labours, and the Calydonian Boar was hunted in the Calydonian Hunt by dozens of other mythological heroes, including some of the Argonauts and the huntress Atalanta. When the Greeks were not attending to their boys, they hunted boar for status.
- In Celtic mythology the boar was sacred to the goddess Arduinna, and boar hunting features in several stories of Celtic and Irish mythology. One such story is that of how Fionn mac Cumhaill ("Finn McCool") lured his rival Diarmuid Ua Duibhne to his death - gored by a wild boar.
- Ares, the Greek god of war, had the ability to transform himself into a wild boar, and even gored his son to death in this form to prevent the young man from growing too attractive and stealing his wife, similar to Oedipus marrying his own mother.
- The Norse gods Freyr and Freyja both had boars. Freyr's boar was named Gullinbursti ("Golden Mane"), who was manufactured by the dwarf Sindri due to a bet between Sindri's brother Brokkr and Loki. The bristles in Gullinbursti's mane glowed in the dark to illuminate the way for his owner. Freya rode the boar Hildesvini (Battle Swine) when she was not using her cat-drawn chariot. According to the poem Hyndluljóð, Freyja concealed the identity of her protégé Óttar by turning him into a boar. In Norse mythology, the boar was generally associated with fertility.
- In Persia during the Sassanid Empire, boars were respected as fierce and brave creatures, and the adjective "Boraz (Goraz)" (meaning boar) was sometimes added to a person's name to show his bravery and courage. The famous Sassanid spahbod, Shahrbaraz, who conquered Egypt and the Levant, had his name derived Shahr(city) + Baraz(boar like/brave) meaning "Boar of the City".
- In Hindu mythology, the third avatar of the Lord Vishnu was Varaha, a boar.
- In Chinese horoscope the boar (sometimes also translated as pig), is one of the twelve animals of the zodiac, based on the legends about its creation, either involving Buddha or the Jade Emperor.
- In the Asterix comic series, wild boar are the favourite food of Obelix whose immense appetite means that he can eat several roasted boar in a single sitting.
The potential of wild boar globabl domination is unnerving. Do not attempt to capture a wild boar on your own. Keep calm and call your local police (sometimes derogatively referred to as "pigs" - which now appears to be a mistake of genicidal proporations.)
We took our eye off the ball.
Friday, October 03, 2008
But, and this is a big but, Sarah Palin spoke in complete sentences - most of the time. You betcha she didn't. And for that, she is lauded as a greater debater who did not lose the debate, but appealed to the lowest common denominator of the electorate - the ignorant and blind who vote against their interests.
Oh, sure, she was amusing at times with her Fargo accent. But, too often, she was annoying as all get out as she proclaimed living in Alaska the equivalent of living in the "heartland" of America. Huh? The heartland?
The pundits, who had to say something good about Palin, came up with giving her a victory on "style."
Let's be clear: parents across this country with children who perform in grade school concerts brag about her good their kids sang. But these parents know their kids are no Pavarotti.
Palin is no Pavarotti.
She did not win. She did not lose because she stood for 90 minutes and talked. And, most of the time, when she talked, the audience understood the words. Yeah for Sarah!
She won by a standard applied most typically in the Special Olympics: she actually did it.
So, by the same standards of the Special Olympics, let's all send a big hug and "shout out" to Ms. Palin for standing up, talking in complete sentences (mostly), and finishing the debate - all 90 minutes.
Are ya happy, Joe Six Pack?
Thursday, October 02, 2008
To compare the two is impossible - Joe Biden, a long-time senator with a record longer than Palin's hair versus Sarah Palin a moosehunting hockey mom from Alaska with no record to speak of.
This will make for good television -for about 15 minutes, after which, viewers will switch to the MLB playoffs.
The keys for both Biden and Palin are simple: shuck and dive.
Tune in tomorrow to read who won.