Yeetle Box - The Debate That Almost Wasn't

John McCain and Barack Obama came to their first debate with clear missions - to knock the hell out of each other, and, in doing so, win the hearts and minds of the American electorate.

McCain's strategy was to paint his rival as naive and inexperienced; Obama's was both to prove McCain wrong on that front and to tag his rival as a participant in eight years of failed Bush administration policies at home and abroad.

With the country facing an unresolved financial crisis as big as any since the Great Depression and the two candidates running in a highly competitive race for the White House, this was obviously a debate with enormously high stakes for both McCain and Obama. By the time it was over, it was evident just how large the differences were between them on many of the biggest national security issues that will await the next president -- and some domestic ones as well.

After the tumult of the week in Washington and on Wall Street, it was questionable whether any event could compete in terms of drama, excitement and possibly significance. McCain's high-risk gamble of suspending most campaign activity and returning to Washington to inject himself into negotiations over an economic rescue package threatened either to delay the debate or at a minimum overshadow it.

But, at 9:00 pm EST, the debate was on!

Here are the highlights.

Assault

The debate began with the Assault - McCain stood on a platform and fired a gun that shot tennis balls at Obama. Obama demonstrated great agility as he dodged McCain's tennis balls and hid behind strategically placed barriers. While Obama missed several attempts to send McCain flying into the air, he did manage to reach the end of the course, proving himself adept at dodging balls and frustrating McCain.

Decision - Obama

Atlasphere

In the Atlasphere round McCain and Obama eachg entered a giant metal caged ball, then moved the spheres by pushing on the inside of the ball and running like a hamster in a cage. Their goal was to maneuver their sphere into a scoring pod. McCain's arm, stiff and not as limber as Obama's left little doubt that Obama was the more agile of the two in this debate sequence.

Decision - Obama

Breakthrough & Conquer

Breakthrough & Conquer proved just how manly they were. Obama started on a 15-yard field and ran from one side to the other, attempting to outmaneuver McCain. Obama slipped, and McCain wrestled the Illinois Senator to the ground.

Decision - McCain

Joust

The Joust, considered one of McCain's strongest suits, gave a little medieval flavor to the debate. Each candidate took turns battling the moderator, Tim Lehrer. The candidate and Leherer each have their own pedestal to stand on and a pugil stick used to try and push the Lehrer off their pedestal. McCain showed hitherto unknown balance as he battled well with Lehrer, but, at the last second, taking his eye off of Lehrer and snearing at Obama, McCain was sent into the deep waters below where Sarah Palin paddled up in a canoe and dragged him to safety.

Obama, on the other hand, balanced and blessed with a larger wingspan, pummeled Lehrer, who followed McCain into the waters below.

Decision - Obama

Powerball

In the last segment of the debate, Powerball, each candidate started on opposite sides of the field with only 45 seconds to see how many balls they could put into the scoring cylinders while news analysts tried to stop them from scoring. Controversey reigned as the McCain camp accused analysts of being less aggressive with Obama than with him.

Decision - Tie

We can only hope the remaining debates will be as entertaining as this one!

The YeetleMaster