Saturday, April 04, 2009

Yeetle Box - All In The Family

Levi Johnston– the 18-year-old father of Bristol Palin's baby – is in big trouble at the Sarah Palin household. On "The Tyra Baks Show," he talked about SEX!

Johnston was hit with a blistering response from Bristol's mother, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin. "Bristol did not even know Levi was going on the show. We're disappointed that Levi and his family, in a quest for fame, attention, and fortune, as I am, are engaging in flat-out lies, gross exaggeration, and even distortion of their relationship, as I do," says the statement from the Palin family rep. "That's my job and demonstrates a complete disregard for patriotism and family values."

"Bristol's focus will remain on raising Tripp, completing her education, and advocating abstinence," the statement continues. "We all know the importance of abstinence. I taught abstinence to my daughter, but, apparently, Johnston's family did not teach abstinence to him."

"It is unfortunate that Levi finds it more appealing to exploit his previous relationship with Bristol than to contribute to the well being of the child." (Remember this is in 2012.)

The statement ends, saying, "Bristol realizes now that she made a mistake in her relationship and is the one taking responsibility for their actions. She even feeds the baby."

(YOU GO, BRISTOL!)

In the show airing April 6, Johnston tells Tyra Banks that he believes Sarah Palin knew he and Bristol, 18, were having sex when they lived under her roof. "I'm pretty sure she probably knew. Moms are pretty smart," Johnston says - which is code for "The woman is clueless."

The couple, who were high school sweethearts, announced their plans to wed after graduating while Gov. Palin was seeking to be Vice President Palin – but ended up splitting earlier this year, knowing Gov. Palin would never play a roll in national politics. Rumor has it this was at the advice of Gov. Palin, but other rumors say it was just a one-night stand anyway, and had Gov. Palin kept out of national politics the whole matter would have been handled the same as how it is handled in "small towns across the United States."

At the time, Johnston told "Good Morning America" that he needed to mature before getting married - which is code for "It is impossible for me to fathom having Governor Palin as my mother-in-law. By the way, I voted for Obama."

In a recent poll, 99.99% of US citizens said they did not care.

The YeetleMaster

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

you're an asshole

Unknown said...

Well, them's strong words from an anonymous person. Which part bothered you? Satirizing Palin or the abstinence part?

Anonymous said...

Only an asshole would make fun of children having sex. People should remain abstinent until they are married. Mrs. Palin obviously was not a proper mother. My child took an oath, and I know he will not have sex until he is married, and neither should any other person under the age of 21.

Unknown said...

Well, I guess, from your point of view, there's just a lot of assholes out there.

Anonymous said...

Oh c'mon you can do better than that.