Monday, September 20, 2010

Yeetle Box - When Good Things Happen to Stupid People

A Chinese man, disheartened by an ongoing divorce proceeding with his fiancee, failed to commit suicide - even though he tried. According to Chinese media reports, the 30-year-old man named Yang Jun (pronounced Yang Jun) lost heart when his wife announced she wanted a divorce. Yang wept. Yang thrashed. Yang fell into despair.

Yang's plan? To terminate his life. (Music swells.)

After taking 50 sleeping pills illegally prescribed by a local "pharmacist," Yang crawled onto a 45-meter-high bridge in Guangzhou in plain view of many passers-by - at least one of whom contacted authorities to complain a man was blocking the walkway on the bridge. That man, of course, was Yang. Asleep.

When a group of rescuers arrived at the scene, Yang was
“fast asleep with his nose kept snoring.” Rescuers tried to wake him up by playing Slim Whitman songs loudly, only to find they could not awaken Yang. After 45 minutes of "Song of the Old Waterwheel", Yang was rescued. Yay!

From the hospital, Yang stated, “I do not regret having made up my mind to fall off from the bridge. Frankly speaking, I hesitated whether I should sacrifice myself or take sleeping pills. But I chose both ways anyway.”

Yang continued. “Shortly after I climbed up to the bridge, I was worn out and later found myself hospitalized,” he added.

Remarkably, Yang's ex-wife reunited with Yang, offering a happy, if not bizarre
end to the high-profile suicide drama.
“I am receiving treatment for melancholy and try not to think of what I did,” Yang said. "I am in deep denial."

And remember, no matter where you go, there you are.

1 comment:

Greg said...

Why didn't he just jump off the bridge? The guys a total failure..