The Yeetle Box

Weighing in on the highest profile debate about global warming, the nation's premier science policy body on Thursday voiced a "high level of confidence" that Earth is the hottest it has been in at least 400 years, and possibly even the last 2,000 years.

"Perhaps," said Dr. Hotare, "we may be seeing the hottest the world has ever been since the Big Bang itself. At least since the invention of the fan."

But Dr. Coolage disagrees.

"Nobody knows how hot it was yesterday, let alone eons ago. The scientific community didn't even have thermometers back then. Geez!"

Still, many scientists believe global warming is real and is impacting our weather paterns right now.

"Right now," said Dr. Blowmedown, "we are experiencing global warming."

However, Dr. Optimist has a different perspective.

"If you think about it, if the eath is hotter than it has been for 2000 years, we've been experiencing globabl warming for that long - 2000 years. What's another 2000? A few degrees? Drink a Kool-Aid. It will help."

As the frequency and magnitude of violent storms increases, and as glaciers melt, raising the sea level, we can say with a high degree of confidence, that the last words spoken before human beings are wiped off the face of the earth will be:

"Where's the data?"

The Yeetle Box
The Yeetle Box