Yeetle Box - Steven King Sets Record

In Monticello, N.Y., Steven King, 40, was indicted in as a result of a traffic stop, for

• driving in oncoming-traffic lanes,
• driving with an open beer container,
• not wearing a seat belt,
• driving an uninsured car,
• driving with expired safety inspection sticker,
• driving with license plates belonging to another car, and
• driving with his 2-year-old daughter neither in a car seat nor belted in.

This breaks the previous record for Simultaneous Traffic Violations By A Singe Driver set by Hambone McGinnis, who WAS wearing his seat belt at the time. Said Mr. McGinnis, "Ya gotta tip yer hat to Steve. He went all out and got the record. But I've got a few tricks up my sleeve yet."

Mr. King, who tried to convince the police that he was the author Stephen King, stated he was conducting research for an upcoming novel. But this was quickly cleared up with a call to Stephen King who expressed interest in Mr. King's record. "Hmmm," said Mr. King, the author. "Might work better with a newborn possessed by Beelzebub."

Said Mr. King, the driver, "Used to be a time when these things were just normal, everyday occurrences. What's happened to this country?"