Yeetle Box - Virgin Mary, Supermodel

Ricardo Oyarzun, a prominent fashion designer, has sparked outrage (OUTRAGE, I SAY!) in Chile by dressing up models like the Virgin Mary -- in some cases with ample, near-naked breasts. (NEAR-NAKED BREASTS!)

The Roman Catholic Church condemned Ricardo Oyarzun's plans for a show featuring the models on the same day the Pope declared that persons who claimed to see images of Jesus on toast were heretics.

Oyarzun said he had received telephone threats and had excrement smeared on his doorstep - apparently NOT from someone who has appreciated his work. A woman maybe? A Catholic woman?

"There is no pornography here, there's no sex, there are no virgins menstruating (VIRGINS MENSTRUATING? HUH?) or feeling each other up," Oyarzun said ahead of the catwalk show set to be held at a Santiago nightclub later on Thursday. "This is artistic expression."

He said his designs -- which include halos, look as though they come from a nativity scene and include religious icons -- were inspired by the Virgin Mary but not intended to represent her. "I guess every time you depict a woman with a halo in a nativity scene people automatically assume you're making a religious statement. I spit on these self-proclaimed critics of the arts!"

Said Chile's Episcopal Conference, which includes Catholic bishops: "We look on with special pain (SPECIAL PAIN?) and deplore those acts which seek to tarnish manifestations of sincere love toward the Virgin Mary, which end up striking at the dignity of womankind by presenting her as an object of consumption as Jesus did."

The show is more evidence that Chile, heavily influenced by the church for decades, is shaking off its reputation as one of the most socially conservative countries in Latin America - perhaps in the Northern Hemisphere. Or the world!

Disclaimer: Any objections to this article, sincere or not, should be directed to Eminence Pope Benedict XVI, Vatican City, Vatican along with pictures of altar boys.

The YeetleMaster