Yeetle Box - Jesus!

A Florida woman whose baby Jesus statue was swiped from her Nativity scene is hoping a global-positioning system will deter thieves from stealing the new one.

"I don't anticipate this will ever happen again," said Dina Cellini of Bar Harbor. "But," she added, "we may need to rely on technology to save our savior."

Jesus!

Everybody knows our saviour flies under the radar.

Jesus!

Yeetle Box - Steven King Sets Record

In Monticello, N.Y., Steven King, 40, was indicted in as a result of a traffic stop, for

• driving in oncoming-traffic lanes,
• driving with an open beer container,
• not wearing a seat belt,
• driving an uninsured car,
• driving with expired safety inspection sticker,
• driving with license plates belonging to another car, and
• driving with his 2-year-old daughter neither in a car seat nor belted in.

This breaks the previous record for Simultaneous Traffic Violations By A Singe Driver set by Hambone McGinnis, who WAS wearing his seat belt at the time. Said Mr. McGinnis, "Ya gotta tip yer hat to Steve. He went all out and got the record. But I've got a few tricks up my sleeve yet."

Mr. King, who tried to convince the police that he was the author Stephen King, stated he was conducting research for an upcoming novel. But this was quickly cleared up with a call to Stephen King who expressed interest in Mr. King's record. "Hmmm," said Mr. King, the author. "Might work better with a newborn possessed by Beelzebub."

Said Mr. King, the driver, "Used to be a time when these things were just normal, everyday occurrences. What's happened to this country?"

Yeetle Box - Werewolves of Pittsburgh

A man in a werewolf mask tried to rob a Subway sandwich shop in Pittsburgh, but came away empty as the two employees on duty refused to give up money even though he hinted he might have a gun in a paper bag he was carrying. The employees, said the man argued a bit and then in frustration removed his mask and fled, saying, “I can’t believe you won’t listen to a wolfman with a gun. Don't you know who I am? I am the son of Lon Chaney!"

Gregory Holley, who is distantly related to Lon Chaney, was arrested in Largo, Florida and charged with robbing three stores and a bank. He was picked up the day after the bank robbery, carrying cash from the bank and wearing the same clothes that the robber wore, with stains from the bank’s chemical dye pack. His clothes were tattered. Said a spokesman for the police department, "It was as if he had been torn up by a wild animal."

The Yeetle Box