Yeetle Box - A Better Way To Select A President

George W. Bush has been such a bad president, and the American voters have proven either a disinterest in political elections or an inability to choose a good president. This is a fact.

Given this, we should contemplate a better way of selecting a president that doesn't burden the American people with registering to vote or voting at all once registered. I propose the following:

1. Each voting district will place a map of the United States on a wall of a public building within the voting district.
2. All American citizens will lodge darts at the map.
3. Concurrently, Air Force One will traverse the United States, passengered by a chimpanzee and a goat, each fitted with a parachute.
4. After all darts are thrown, the chimpanzee will be pushed out of the aircraft and float into a voting district.
5. Shortly thereafter, the goat will be pushed out of the aircraft and float to the ground.
6. After the chimpanzee and the goat have both landed, the American people will be given the coordinates of both the goat and the chimpanzee.
7. When the goat, the chimpanzee, and a citizen of the United States come within 100 yards o each other, that citizen will be our next president and sworn in on the spot.
8. The chimpanzee and the goat will serve as advisers to our newly selected president.
9. Our new president will serve a one-year term for 6 years, after which this process will be repeated.

It's worth a shot.