A former Woodburn assistant coach and social studies teacher has gotten a state reprimand for biting the thigh of one of half a dozen wrestlers who tried to give him a wedgie. At a December 2005 practice team members tried to give Peter Porath a wedgie — jerking his undershorts upward. This is the classic wedgie maneuver, which has proven effective in inflicting both pain and embarrassment to victims since the invention of the wedgie in 1879.
"At least six wrestlers, weighing between 180 and 215 pounds each, came up to Mr. Porath from behind in an attempt to give him a ‘wedgie.’ In the process of getting the boys off of him, Mr. Porath bit the inside of a wrestler's leg, leaving distinct teeth marks," the commission said.
"Mr. Porath's counter move has been disallowed as stated in the Wild, Wild, Worldwide Wrestling Commission Rules, to whit: 'Upon receiving a wedgie, no wrestler shall retaliate by biting the inner thigh of his opponent. Bites to the outer thigh and to animal thighs are permitted.'"
The commission called that "gross neglect of duty" and, stated further, Mr. Porath's actions constituted just plain old bad taste. Mr. Porath has been placed on probation for two years. In addition, he must complete a class on appropriate behavior and write a public apology to the student he bit. Further, Mr. Porath will lose priveleges to the teacher's lounge as well.
He teaches high school social studies at Woodburn. He no longer coaches wrestling but does coach baseball, said Woodburn Superintendent Walt Blomberg. Blomberg said the wrestlers were disciplined by the wrestling coach but did not receive academic penalties such as suspension.
"It was a wedgie!" shouted the Woodburn principal. "Jesus! You people never had a wedgie? C'mere...."
The Woodburn principals was restrained by six wrestlers and the team mascot.
"You can't place ALL the blame on the teacher for receiving a gang-wedgie. To be fair, Peter [Porath] did characterize it as an attack," Blomberg said. "Technically, a wedgie is not an attack. It's a...well, it's a wedgie! Let me show you."
The student and his family did not pursue a complaint, but the district felt obligated to report the incident to the state, Blomberg said. "And we reprimanded Pete. After all, a wrestling coach should know not to turn his back on his opponent. How lame is that?"
"Frankly," added Blomberg, "Pete's a nice guy. I think he got off lucky, but, still, he's not a bad guy. It's not like he's a gang banger or nothin'."
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2 comments:
As a former wrestler, wedgies were pretty common among other basic teenage boy behavior. Big deal! I spent most of my first year on the team hanging from a hook by my briefs or walking around with my underwear up to my shoulders. The coaches could have cared less. I would have never complained to school officials or told my parents. They ought to alow the coach to give a few wedgies to keep the guys in line! Ha! It can be pretty humbling to your ego.
I think you misread what I wrote. The PLAYERS gave the coach a wedgie, then, during the scuffle, the coach bit one of the players in the thigh.
I am neither a former wrestler nor a former wrestling coach, so the interplay between wrestling and wedgies is foreign to me. I defer to those with experience in these matters.
That said, I can't help but remark more specifically on your comment that you spent an entire year hanging from a hook - presumably attached to your undergarments. What a pity to humble your ego while neck-deep in your own soiled underpants.
Perhaps I am naive (?).
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