Yeetle Box - Terrorists Target Mule Day

In Columbia, Tenn. this Saturday, the much maligned mule is getting a day of celebration known as Mule Day - the highlight of a six-day celebration honoring the lowly animal - sometimes referred to as an "ass."

U.S. Rep. Lincoln Davis plans to set aside debates on the economy and the Iraq war to climb aboard his ass for the parade.

"I'll bring my saddle and bridle and ol' Pete," the Tennessee Democrat promised. "He's a good racking ass, 1 in 10,000."

Up to 150,000 people are expected in the city of 33,000, competing for space with an estimated 2,500 asses who are the center of attention.

The festivities, held since 1934, grew out of the town's reputation for breeding good asses.

But don't underestimate the significance of the event. In 2006, Mule Day was included on a Homeland Security database of places vulnerable to terrorism attacks. The Empire State building and Times Square were not. It seems terrorists around the globe have studied videotape of the event - a showcase of rural Tennessee culture that includes

-a type of Appalachian folk dance called clogging,
-a log loading competition
-country and bluegrass music
-a mule and donkey seminar.

Each of these events have symbolized for global terrorists the encroachment of Western culture into the Middle East, representing code for jihad.

But, not to worry. Harvey Spann, a Mule Day organizer and the proud owner of four asses himself, said asses may not be man's best friend but they can be an affectionate alternative - and a strong deterrent to any hostiles out there.

"They're a different kind of pet: not a horse, not a dog, and not as docile as a dog. But you can get to be friends with 'em and they get attached to you and you to them. It's the human-ass bond, I guess."

Security has been beefed up for the event, which is expected to go off without a hitch!



The Yeetle Box