The Yeetle Box - The Penis - Bomber

When you go in for a penis enlargement, you are probably not hoping for a smaller penis than what you had before the surgery. Blake Steidler expected a larger penis. After the surgery, well...things didn't go as planned. So Mr. Steidler did the only thing a man with a small penis can do under such circumstances: he mailed a bomb to the doctor.

He mailed the bomb from Ohio to Chicago - two states known for their long standing penile rivalry. Then he called the police to tell them he had mailed the bomb. The bomd was retrieved and destroyed. Mr. Steidler was sentenced to four years and 10 months in prison.

Blake Steidler was 25 years old and lived in Reamstown, Ohio. The name says it all.

Now, we know the penis surgery didn't go well. But it seems Mr. Steidler's testicles might have been removed in the process: he pleaded guilty to use of a weapon of mass destruction and other charges - which is not a good defense for keeping you out of prison. In fact, in 100 percent of cases in which a person uses the "guilty defense," no one has ever walked away without a sentence.

Mr. Steidler's defense lawyer, Luis A. Ortiz, said at the time of the plea Mr. Steidler was mentally ill. Damn straight, he was. I think it's a fair assumption that a person who goes in for a penis enlargement, then mails a bomb to the doctor, the pleads guilty is a little left of center. A sandwich short of a picnic, if you will.

Besides the prison term, Steidler was sentenced to five years supervised release, and a $2,000 fine.

Mr. Steidler now has more than four years to think about his actions. Penis enlargement, indeed!

The District Attorney's office in Chicago, Illinois stated, "No one from Ohio is going to have a larger penis than anyone in Illinois. That's just the law! If I had had my way, Mr. Steidler would be dancing with Bubba for much longer."

The D.A.'s officed declined to confirm rumors that they had sought the death penalty for Mr. Steidler.

"We did not rule out any avenue that led to a meaningful prosecution in this case."

The Yeetle Box
The Yeetle Box