Yeetle Box - Another Reason To Visit Iceland

Sigurdur Hjartarson is missing a human penis. But he's not worried: four men have promised to donate theirs to him when they die - or sooner, if the price is right.

Hjartarson (pronounced H-jar-tar-son) is founder and owner of the Icelandic Phallological Museum. The museum, open to the world, provides curious visitors a close-up look at the long and the short of the male reproductive organ - or "dicks," as they said in Iceland.

His collection, which began in 1974 with a single bull's penis that looked something like a riding crop, now boasts 261 preserved members from 90 species. That is a lot of penises to store.

The largest penis in the museum is from a sperm whale, weighing in at 154 pounds and 5.58 feet long. The smallest, a hamster penis bone, is a mere 2 mm and must be viewed through a magnifying glass. In a head-to-head competition, the sperm whale wins decisively in terms of size and strength. However, the hamster penis wins in speed and accuracy.

Mr. Hjartarson, for reasons we cannot understand, lacks a human penis. But that may soon be rectified since a German, an American, an Icelander and a Briton have promised to donate their penises after death, according to certificates on display.

The American, 52-year-old Stan Underwood, supplied a written description of his penis -- which he purportedly nick-named "Elmo" -- for display alongside a life-size plastic mould of the member as well as his pledge to donate it.

"I, Stan Underwood, being of sound mind and body, hereby will unto the Penis Man, my penis upon my death. It is to be severed after my funeral and before my burial and shipped to Iceland where it will be displayed prominently next to the sperm whale's penis."

Hjartarson said the Icelandic donor, a 93-year-old from nearby Akureyri, was a womanizer in his youth who thought having his penis in the collection might bring him eternal fame since it did not bring him any fame during his life. However, his penis is not a shoe-in.

"He has mentioned that his penis is shrinking as he gets older, and he is worried it might not make a proper exhibit," Hjartarson said, shaking his head with sadness.

The museum, originally opened in Reykjavik in 1997, has now moved to the quiet fishing village of Husavik, 298 miles northeast of the capital. Husavik is known for how quiet it is.

Open from May to September, it is housed in a plain brown building, wrapped in a plain brown wrapper, the entrance marked by a tall brown phallus near the door and a penis-shaped sign over the front porch. Just like any other modern museum.

60 percent of the museum's visitors are women. Duh!

"We had 6,000 visitors last summer and actually made a profit," Hjartarson said with a smile.

The specimens, most of which were donated by fishermen, hunters and biologists, are kept in glass jars of formaldehyde or dried and mounted on the wall, creating an atmosphere that is part science lab, part trophy room.

Hjartarson has paid for only one -- an elephant penis nearly 1 meter long that hangs, stuffed and mounted on a wooden board, in the museum's "foreign section." The "foreign section" is dedicated to "foreign" penises, defying traditional theory that all penises from whatever species are, indeed, "foreign."

He said he began collecting penises 24 years ago, when working as a school administrator, something the Icelandic school did not think was unusual, odd or, in any way, worth investigating. He never imagined in his wildest fantasies he would one day be running a museum devoted to penises.

"It was just a hobby," he said. "Something I just fiddled around with late at night or when I was not at church."

"I hope visitors leave the museum in a better mood than when they arrived," he said. "I know that I do every day, gazing upon these penises for hours. They are really quite remarkable and beautiful," he added, stroking the blue whale penis, shoving his free hand into his pocket.

The Yeetle Box