Independent presidential hopeful Ralph Nader is pressing the case that presumptive Democratic nominee Barack Obama is another corporate candidate who won't really change Washington - a claim Nader has made about every presidential candidate in all of bids for the presidency in 1992, 1996, 2000, 2004 and 2008.

Nader - the longtime consumer advocate told the Rocky Mountain News that Obama is trying to "talk white" and to appeal to "white guilt."


Said Nader, "There's only one thing different about Barack Obama when it comes to being a Democratic presidential candidate. He's half African-American."

Demonstrating a remarkable lack of self-awareness, he blathered on. "Whether that will make any difference, I don't know. I haven't heard him have a strong crackdown on economic exploitation in the ghettos. Payday loans, predatory lending, asbestos, lead. What's keeping him from doing that? Is it because he wants to talk white?"

In one fell swoop, Nader lost the black vote, the white vote, the KKK vote, and the conservative vote - none of which make up his constituency.

Unabated by his own remarks, Nader added: "I mean, first of all, the number one thing that a black American politician aspiring to the presidency should be [doing] is to candidly describe the plight of the poor, especially in the inner cities and the rural areas. . . . Haven't heard a thing. As a presidential candidate for the democratic party, Obama is obligated to talk exclusively to black issues."

"He wants to show that he is not . . . another politically threatening African-American politician," Nader said, sneeringly. "We need a politically threatening African-American politician!"

Now, on a roll, Nader continued, frothing at the mouth. "He wants to appeal to white guilt. You appeal to white guilt not by coming on as, 'black is beautiful, black is powerful.' Basically he's coming on as someone who is not going to threaten the white power structure, whether it's corporate or whether it's simply oligarchic. And they love it. Whites just eat it up. Just like they ate up Eminem!"

Asked at a news conference in Chicago yesterday about Nader's comments, Obama said he has been addressing the issues that Nader raised.

"Ralph's trying to get attention," Obama added. "He's become a perennial political candidate - and a very bad one at that. It's a shame, because if you look at his legacy in terms of consumer protections, it's an extraordinary one."

Obama paused, the continued.

"Perhaps I should say this in a way in which Mr. Nader would approve. Home boy got game. Whitey ain't g'wan brin' down da black man no mo'."

The Yeetle Box

Yeetle Box - Green Government and Gax Tax Holiday Revisited

Sen. John McCain has pledged to make the federal government more environmentally friendly. Honest. Honest, he did.

In a speech in Santa Barbara, Calif., McCain vowed to "put the purchasing power of the United States government on the side of green technology" by buying fuel-efficient vehicles for its civilian fleet of cars and trucks and by retrofitting federal office space - a move that will have little no impact on global warming, but would demonstrate to voters that he can "think small."

The pledge comes months after Sen. Barrack Obama outlined a more detailed and ambitious proposal on the subject, virtually ensuring that the next administration will take significant steps to lower the government's output of energy and pollution - again, with little or no effect on the American consumer.

Obama, who first set his targets last October, has promised that he would make all new federal buildings 40 percent more efficient than current ones within five years, and carbon-neutral by 2025. He has also pledged to increase efficiency of existing federal buildings by 25 percent within five years and to ensure that the government derives 30 percent of its electricity from renewable energy by 2020 -- none of which McCain has promised to do.

Of course, a champion in environmental issues, President Bush has already instituted energy-efficiency measures for the White House and the government. In January 2007, the president issued an executive order calling on the government to "increase purchase of alternative fuel, hybrid, and plug-in hybrid electric vehicles when commercially available." To date, those commercially available vehicles have not been purchased.

He and the First Lady, Laura Bush, have also made changes in the White House, replacing all incandescent bulbs in hallways with compact fluorescent lights, installing low-consumption toilets in many places and putting in energy-efficient cooling units - similar to former President Jimmy Carter.

Question: Where were you guys in 1976?

The Yeetle Box

Yeetle Box - Obama Woos Women

Democrat presidential nominee Barack Obama, determined to win over and woo female voters, talked Monday about the women who helped shape his life in arguing that he would be a better proponent of equal pay than Republican presidential nominee John McCain. The presumed Democratic nominee toured a baking facility and chatted with female workers about their economic challenges, promising to take them out dancing if they pledge their support and $25 to his campaign.

Sen. Obama told how he was raised by a single mother and his grandmother, who made sacrifices to support their family - circumstances unique to any other past US citizen. He told them that Sen. McCain opposed legislation earlier this year that would have made it easier for women to sue their employers for pay discrimination. Obama supported the bill.

"I'll continue to stand up for equal pay as president — Senator McCain won't, and that's a real difference in this election," Obama said. "I believe that whichever candidate is elected president, that candidate should receive the same pay that the other candidate would have made if he were elected president."

McCain has said he supports equal pay for women - and presidential candidates - but had said the measure would lead to more lawsuits. "Consider that blow to our economy, at a time when we are trying to drive down wages, should women of all stripes - blondes, brunettes, redheads - demand equal pay. This country will see an explosion of lawsuits of volcanic proportions! When I was a POW in Vietnam, we were not tortured equally. I was tortured more than most of the POWs because the Vietnamese knew I was their worst enemy. Like torture, life's not divided equally."

Since he clinched the Democratic presidential nomination earlier this month and Clinton abandoned her bid, Obama has praised her most often in the context of what her campaign did for women, often mentioning his two daughters as examples of those who will benefit from the barriers Clinton broke - the barriers many powerful and wealthy women face when up against less powerful and less wealthy men.

Obama praised Clinton as a trailblazer, saying the nation has come closer to one where women have equal opportunities "because of the extraordinary woman who I shared a stage with so many times throughout this campaign — Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton." Asked to clarify the causal relation between standing on a stage with a powerful and wealthy woman and advancement toward equal pay for all women, Obama walked away.

The former foes will campaign together on Friday in Unity, N.H. The name evokes the candidates' desire to unite the party (duh!), and the place is symbolic, too — each candidate received 107 votes there on Jan. 8, when the state held its primary that Clinton ultimately won, 107 to 107.

Get it?

The Yeetle Box

Yeetle Box - Traffic and Traffic Officers and Weird People

A Russian drunk driver knocked over a traffic policeman then drove for about 1 km (0.6 miles) with the officer clinging to the roof of his car, local police said on Friday, in between small but audible giggles.

The motorist only came to a halt after the policeman on the roof fired eight rounds from his pistol, police in the Khabarovsk region, on Russia's Pacific coast, said in a statement. "You know," said the officer, "in all the confusion, I couldn't remember if I had fired seven or eight rounds, but being as I had a Russian pistol, one of the least powerful handguns in the world, and could not blow his head clean off, I had to ask myself, 'Do I feel lucky, punk?'"

The driver was unhurt and is in jail awaiting charges, while the traffic policemen only sustained a graze to his right arm. He was disqualified from the anual Bruce Willis awards held every five years in Russia.

==================================================

In unrelated news....

A woman who says she was hurt by her thong panties when a metal clip flew off and hit her in the eye has sued Victoria's Secret, saying in a TV interview on Thursday that the injury caused her "excruciating pain." She did not specify if the pain had been caused by the metal clip or the thong panties themselves.

Macrida Patterson, a 52-year-old Los Angeles traffic officer, told NBC's "Today" show that she suffered cuts to her cornea from the small piece of metal that had been used to secure a rhinestone heart onto the blue thong.

"I was putting on my underwear from Victoria's Secret and the metal popped in my eye. It happened really quickly. I was in excruciating pain. I screamed. That's what happened," Patterson told NBC. When asked if she was putting on her underwear over head, she stated she had no comment.

Patterson's lawyer Jason Buccat, who also appeared on the "Today" show, said the metal staple causes "severe damage" to her cornea that required a topical steroid - the kind used in most grade schools to treat minor abrasions. In this case, however, since Ms. Patterson was a full grown adult who should know how to put on underwear whether from Victoria's Secret or Wal-Mart, and since she is a LA traffic officer, and since she claimed "excruciating pain" as opposed to a "boo boo," Victoria's Secret has taken this matter very seriously.

A spokeswoman for Victoria's Secret, which is operated by Limited Brands Inc, could not immediately be reached for comment, though was heard to say behind a closed door, "I'll just be a minute!"

=====================================================

And, finally, without precedent...

The Yeetle Box

Yeetle Box - Of Monkeys and Men

A Utah couple who earlier apologized for a Barack Obama sock monkey that was decried as racist say they may still sell the toy.

David and Elizabeth Lawson of West Jordan, owners of TheSockObama LLC, said after a swarm of bloggers decried their toy as racist that the sock monkey based on the Illinois senator and presumptive Democratic nominee for president would not be manufactured.

However, the Lawsons said Monday that "a few new opportunities have been presented" to produce the monkey. They did not specify what these "new opportunities" were, but traders on Wall Street have been anxiously awaiting the Obama Sock Monkey.

The couple also issued a statement detailing some of the hate mail and death threats they have received, as well as decrying what they consider to be hypocrisy on the part of those who labeled the toy racist.

Said Elizabeth Lawson, "We've been accused of racism. Of cashing in on the genetic commonality of the black man with the monkey. Of perpetuating the myth that black men are apes. Well, these are hate crimes. White people have a right to speak their minds. It's in our Constitution. Look it up! Don't we live in a free society where anyone who works hard can get ahead?"

The Lawsons are not the only ones cashing in on the Monkey/Obama caricature. Mike Norman, owner of the Mulligan's Bar and Grill in Marietta, George, has been selling T-shirts depicting the cartoon monkey Curious George and the slogan "Obama in '08."

Norman, who began selling the shirts in late April, has said they are not meant to be racist. He said he thinks the Illinois senator and the character "look so much alike." He added, "And besides, this is Georgia. Where's are reparations for that Sherman dude torching Atlanta? Huh? Ya see?"

Norman's daughter Brandi Nabors, the distant relative of Jim Nabors -well-known for his Gomer Pyle character and hilarious signature phrase "Surprise, surprise, surprise"- is worried that her father's "opinions" might spark more than criticism. Patrons of Mikes Bar and Grill have reassured her that her father's opinions are protected under the Confederate Flag Act the patrons invented while dousing a few cold ones earlier this month.

"I don't like people picking on my daddy, cause he's my daddy," she said. "He might come across as a dumb redneck to a lot of people, but the man is brilliant. Besides, he's not only my daddy, he's my uncle and my brother!"

The Lawsons are fighting back with equally brilliant logic and political conviction. "It's OK for there to be hundreds of thousands of Google sites containing references to our current president's resemblance to a chimpanzee," the statement said. "However, it's not OK to make that same association regarding our possible next president."

These "Google sites" are still being sought. To date, no one has been able to find these "Google sites." However, Google has noted an uptick in domain sales recently. Some of the more popular domains include obamaisamonkey.com,

manormonkey.com,

obamakong.com, and, oddly,

niggerobamamustdie.com.

Amid the hoopla, Sen. John McCain was heard to say, "I really don't know what all the fuss is about. He's black. He's a monkey. Am I missing something?"

The Yeetle Box

Yeetle Box - Russians Celebrate The Ass

A monument to the enema has been unveiled at a spa in the southern Russian city of Zheleznovodsk.

The bronze syringe bulb, which weighs 800 pounds and is held by three angels, was unveiled at the Mashuk-Akva Term spa.

"There is no kitsch or obscenity, it is a successful work of art," Alexander Kharchenko told The Associated Press. "An enema is almost a symbol of our region."

The Caucasus Mountains region is known for dozens of spas where enemas with water from mineral springs are routinely administered to treat digestive and other complaints.

Kharchenko, 50, said the monument cost $42,000 and was installed in a square in front of his spa on Wednesday. A banner declaring: "Let's beat constipation and sloppiness with enemas" — an allusion to a line from "The Twelve Chairs," a famous Soviet film comedy — was posted on one of the spa's walls.

Sculptor Svetlana Avakina said she designed the 5-foot-high monument with "irony and humor" and modeled the angels on those in works by Italian Renaissance painter Alessandro Botticelli.

"This device is eternal, it will never change," she told the AP. "We could promote this brand, turn it into a franchise with souvenirs and awards for medical doctors."

Dozens of monuments dedicated to characters from tall tales and popular jokes have been erected in post-Soviet Russia.

The Yeetle Box

Yeetle Box - Come Listen To A Story 'Bout A Man Named Bush...

President "Lame Duck" Bush will call on Congress to pass legislation lifting a ban on offshore oil drilling, the White House said. The entire building shook as it spoke as Dana Perino, White House spokeswoman took the microphone.

"With gasoline now over $4 a gallon, tomorrow he, our Commander-in-Chief, and the next former president of the United States of America, will explicitly call on Congress to also pass legislation lifting the congressional ban on safe, environmentally friendly offshore oil drilling."

Republicans have called for ending a ban on safe, environmentally friendly offshore drilling in place since 1981, but Democrats have repeatedly rebuffed such attempts, citing unfriendly environmental concerns.

McCain joined in the hoopla, calling for safe, environmentally friendly offshore drilling, supporting the next former President of the United States of America in hopes of being the next former Republican nomination for President of the United States of America.

McCain supports ending the ban on safe, environmentally friendly offshore oil exploration and Democratic candidate Barack Obama opposes it.

Speaking in one of the largest cities in the oil rich state of Texas, Houston, McCain called for lifting the federal moratorium on safe, environmentally friendly offshore exploration and production as part of a plan help big oil in their time of need as gas prices, beyond any oil company's control, keep climbing.

The Arizona senator also has proposed temporarily lifting a tax on gasoline over the summer to give consumer a break from soaring fuel prices but has forgotten that such legislation would not pass until after the summer.

Jim Manley, a spokesman for Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said lifting the safe, environmentally friendly offshore drilling ban would have little immediate impact on the energy problem since, in a nutshell, there is no bad on drilling for oil in safe, environmentally friendly locations.

"The Energy Information Administration - an administration no one has ever heard of before - says that even if we open the coasts to oil drilling, that won't have a significant impact on prices until 2030. By then, McCain will be dead," Jim Manley said in an e-mail. It was clear from the email that Mr. Manley still uses Eudora.

Some experts say Bush could override congressional objections through an executive order -as he has done many many times, but Perino said: "The soon-to-be ex-president is not taking any executive action tomorrow -so chill."


Bush has visited Saudi Arabia twice this year and sought help in dealing with record-high oil prices that threaten the U.S. economy. Sources close to Saudi Arabia and OPEC have hinted that perhaps the United States should consume less oil or tap its oil reserve or build more fuel efficient vehicles or develop alternative energy sources. They also noted that the United States does not receive most of its oil from the Middle East as many expert dumb asses believe, but rather from Canada.

Bush was not expected to voice support specifically for any of several bills drafted in Congress to lift the ban on safe, environmentally friendly offshore oil drilling, but rather will call on Congress to pass legislation to accomplish that goal, a senior administration official said on condition of anonymity due to his soon to be release book, "President Bush and Oil: An Addiction or An Obsession?"

Bush and Republican lawmakers have also been pressing for opening up the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to oil exploration and safe, environmentally friendly drilling, which Democrats oppose on the grounds that they are Democrats.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi of California said last week that opening the wildlife refuge in Alaska would reduce U.S. gasoline prices by one penny per gallon, and she and other Democrats blame Bush's [Cheney's/ Exxon's] energy policies for the rise in gasoline prices.

Bush has blamed Democrats, who control Congress, for blocking efforts to increase domestic oil production - comparing them to the former Democratic Congress, under the disguise of Republicans, that held a Congressional majority throughout most of his presidency.

"The president believes Congress shouldn't waste any more time since he has already wasted seven years," Perino said.

The Yeetle Box

Yeetle Box - Absolution

A woman and man in Italy said they have apologized to church authorities for having oral sex in a cathedral confession box. To be exact, they did not apologize for the oral sex, but for the oral sex in the confessional rather than the rectory.

Via the bishop's private line, the couple requested a meeting with Cesena Archbishop Antonio Lanfranchi to say they were sorry for their indecent behavior. Lanfranchi has agreed on the condition they meet him in the confessional for absolution.

The man, 31, and woman, 32, are facing charges of indecency and the bishop had to hold a purification ceremony in the church as a result of the Sunday morning incident. The purification ceremony consisted of the traditional "burning of the testicles" in full view of the parishioners, as well as the "spitting on the floor." Both symbolize the purification of the church and the couple as fire and water are symbols of purification..

The pair's lawyer said the bishop accepted the couple's apology after their Tuesday meeting - which lasted only 5 minutes before the bishop felt they were truly sorry.

The couple's lawyer said the amorous couple ''felt better'' after ''getting it off their chests." He plans to appeal for leniency, claiming the defendants were "very drunk" after going to a rock concert and one thing led to another.

The "one thing led to another" defense has been used with great success in Italy for many centuries after the church ruled that the "Adam and Eve" defense was indefensible.

The Yeetle Box

Yeetle Box - Dead Guy Beats Live Guy By 23 Votes

The residents of a Romanian village knowingly voted in a dead man as their mayor in Sunday's municipal election, preferring him to his living opponent.

Neculai Ivascu, 57, who ran the village for almost two decades, died from liver disease just after voting began -- but still won the election by a margin of 23 votes.

A local official said the authorities decided to keep the poll open in case Ivascu's opponent, Gheorghe Dobrescu, won, avoiding the need for a re-run. But he did not win. In his concession speech, Dobrescu stated, "The people have spoken. I will support that rotting corpse over there to ensure the integrity of democracy."

"I know he died, but I don't want change," a pro-Ivascu villager told Romanian television. "I believe democracy has spoken."

In the end, election authorities gave the post to the runner-up, but some villagers and Ivascu's party, the powerful opposition Social Democrat Party (PSD), have called for a new vote. Party officials believe he should have won by an even wider margin. "At least 30 votes," declared one party official."

The Yeetle Box

Yeetle Box - Plame Blame

A House committee issued a subpoena Monday for FBI reports from interviews with President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney, who once shot a man in the face, in the CIA Valerie Plame leak investigation. The subpoena to Attorney General Michael Mukasey from the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee is the latest move by Congress to shed light on Cheney's precise role in the leak of Valerie Plame's CIA identity - something Congress has had trouble pinning on him despite Ms. Plame's testimony, Joe Wilson's testimony, Scott Libby's testimony, and Robert Novak's column that reported the lead a long time ago.

As a bonus, on Friday, former White House press secretary Scott McClellan is scheduled to testify to the House Judiciary Committee - to reiterate to Congress what they already know.

McClelland, who is a born again CYA agent operating under the cover of former White House press secretary, is expected to talk about White House higher-ups directing him to publicly deny that Cheney's chief of staff and White House political adviser Karl Rove, whose grandfather worked for the Nazi party, played any role in leaking the CIA employment of Plame, who is married to Bush administration war critic Joseph Wilson.



Cheney's chief of staff, I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, and Rove, whose grandfather worked for the Nazi party, were among the leakers of the CIA identity of Wilson's wife - aka Valeria Plame. Both have since left the White House. One of them was convicted of perjury, obstruction and lying to the FBI, but had his sentence commuted by President Bush in a rare show of "compassionate conservatism."

In publicly released grand jury testimony, Libby acknowledges having told the FBI early in the Plame probe that "it's possible" he spoke to Cheney, who once shot a man in the face, about whether to share information with the press about Wilson's wife. "But only possible. It's also possible," he added, "that everything I have said here came to me in a dream."

The House Oversight and Government Reform Committee chaired by Rep. Henry Waxman, D-Calif., has been trying to get FBI interviews of Bush and Cheney, who once shot a man in the face, since last year - demonstrating the power of the Congressional subpoena when matched against a Super Villain like Cheney, who once shot a man in the face.

Waxman renewed the request June 3 and Mukasey says the department is considering a response. Considering. They said "considering."

Monday's subpoena also seeks other documents related to the Plame probe, the committee said in announcing the action. Congressional insiders believe Ms. Plame holds photographs of her without sunglasses - a critical piece to this complex, yet simple, puzzle.

The Yeetle Box

Yeetle Box - McCain Woos Women

Sen. John McCain, the Republican presumptive nominee for the presidency, and his aides have gone out of their way to praise Sen. Hillary Clinton in recent days in order to woo Clinton's female voter to their camp - particularly women in Ohio and Pennsylvania where McCain feels he's got a good crack at them.

"They're older and not as bright as a lot of other women," said a McCain campaign aide. "I think Sen. McCain can bring them orgasm by November."

The presidential campaign is hoping to capitalize on the "security moms" who backed President Bush

over Sen. John Kerry in the 2004 election, while making inroads with other voters by questioning Sen. Barrack Obama's experience with women in general, and, more specifically, on the economy and foreign affairs, trying to exploit unhappiness with his defeat of Clinton.

"Obama's an attractive man," conceded Sen. McCain. "He's young and handsome, but has big ears. If you notice, he likes to knuckle punch his wife. We cannot have four years of knuckle-punching women. The stakes are too high."

While working-class white men have been a focus of the primaries, women -- who made up 54 percent of the electorate in 2004 -- may prove to be more decisive in the fall election. McCain's overtures to women in the past have been limited given his age and impotency. However, Sen. McCain, with help from Cialis, which has fewer side effects than Viagra, now he is offering independent and Democratic women the unconventional pitch that his policy prescriptions for economic, health-care and environmental issues trump such traditional issues as equal pay, abortion rights and contraception coverage. And, amazingly, he's handsome.

"No one should take a woman's vote for granted, and the Democratic Party should certainly not take it for granted," said former Hewlett-Packard Chief Executive Officer Carly Fiorina. Fiorina presided over a halving of Hewlett Packard's value during her tenure and heavy job losses. She was fired by HP's board due to dissatisfaction with her performance in February 2005.

[As HP's performance slowed, the Board of Directors became increasingly concerned. In early January 2005, the HP Board of Directors presented Fiorina with a four-page list of issues the board had with Fiorina's performance. The board proposed a plan to shift her authority to HP division heads, which Fiorina resisted. Carly Fiorina was dismissed as chairman and chief executive officer of HP.

"While I regret the board and I have differences about how to execute HP's strategy, I respect their decision," Fiorina said in a statement. "HP is a great company and I wish all the people of HP much success in the future." She was replaced by Patricia C. Dunn as chairman and CFO and Robert Wayman as CEO. Hewlett-Packard's stock jumped 7% on news of her departure.

Under Hewlett-Packard's severance agreement, Carly Fiorina received US $21 million in cash, which was 2.5 times her base annual salary. On March 8, 2006, two large institutional investors filed suit against Hewlett-Packard for violating its own severance cap when it doled out a multimillion-dollar payment to Fiorina as part of her termination agreement.]

But I digress.

Fiorina, who appeared on "Good Morning America" as part of her effort to reach female voters. "I'm a woman, and as a woman, I'm really proud Hillary Clinton ran for president. Therefore, I am throwing my support to John McCain, who is hung like a horse."

The Yeetle Box

Yeetle Box - Cheney v. China

Vice President Dick Cheney's office acknowledged on Thursday that he, Dick Cheney, who once shot man in the face, was mistaken when he asserted that China, at Cuba's behest, is drilling for oil in waters 60 miles from the Florida coast.

In a speech to the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, Cheney erroneously asserted that waters in the eastern Gulf of Mexico, long off limits to oil companies, should be opened to drilling because China is already there pumping oil there.

"Oil is being drilled right now 60 miles off the coast of Florida," the vice president, who once shot a man in the face, said. "We're not doing it, the Chinese are, in cooperation with the Cuban government. Even the communists have figured out that a good answer to high prices is more supply. Even I could figure that out. This is a no-brainer. Go out there and look. Take binoculars. China is drilling for oil. I swear upon my life with all my hearts."

Cheney, who once shot a man in the face, cited his source as columnist George Will, who last week wrote: "Drilling is under way 60 miles off Florida. The drilling is being done by China, in cooperation with Cuba, which is drilling closer to South Florida than U.S. companies are."

Said Cheney, who once shot a man in the face, "George Will might be an agnostic and a fair-weather conservative, but he's a damned good journalist. He's a good man. I take him at his word."

Congressional Democrats pounced on the vice president's remarks and were backed up by independent energy experts, who called the assertion hyperbole at best and a falsehood at worst.

Cheney's office said in a statement to The Associated Press that the vice president, who once shot a man in the face, had, erroneously erred. Unlike those times when he purposely erred.

"It is our understanding that, although Cuba has leased out exploration blocks 60 miles off the coast of southern Florida, which is closer than American firms are allowed to operate in that area, no Chinese firm is drilling there," according to the statement. "However, we would like to note the possibility exists that China could transport oil rigs and large machinery 60 miles off our coast without detection because the Chinese are small people."

Jorge Pinon, a senior energy fellow at the University of Miami specializing in Latin America, said Cuba has awarded offshore oil leases, or concessionary blocs, in its offshore waters to six oil companies — none of them Chinese — and soon may announce an agreement with Brazil's state oil company, Petrobras. But, and this is a critical but, none of them are Chinese.

"But no one is currently drilling in any of those concessions," said Pinon in a telephone interview. "Cheney's just a big oil dork!"

But talk of China drilling in waters within 50 miles to 60 miles of Key West has been a common theme among Republicans - and could be a major talking point for Fox News and John McCain, both of whom support institutional propaganda.

"China, thanks to a lease issued by Cuba, is drilling for oil just 50 miles from Florida's coast," Rep. George Radanovich, R-Calif., and bona fide idiot, recently wrote in The Modesto Bee in California, arguing for opening waters that have been off limits for 25 years to U.S. companies. "We'd have oil coming out of our ears by now."

Radanovich's office said the congressman was in transit and not immediately available Thursday and probably would not be available for quite a while.

House Republican leader John Boehner of Ohio, calling for more domestic oil production, declared stupidly, "right at this moment some 60 miles or less off the coast of Key West, Fla., China has the green light to drill for oil."

"Even China recognizes that oil and natural gas is readily available off our shores, thanks to Fidel Castro," complained Rep. Roy Blunt of Missouri, a leader of a GOP energy task force. "Embargoes aside, this is not fair to the United States who consumes more oil than any other country. It's not right. It's not American."

When asked about this matter, President Bush looked up from the Gummy Bears package he was attempting to open. and said, "If Dick says so. Dick's a good man."

The Yeetle Box

Yeetle Box - Nailed!

George Chandler said he feels fine - after a nail gun fired a 2.5 inch nail into the top of his head.

Chandler and a friend were doing a project in a backyard when the nail gun hose became tangled, causing the tool to fire one nail - into his head.

Chandler said Monday he told his friend he didn't know where the nail went, but he felt a sting on the top of his head. His friend states he had "no idea" where the nail went either, but he felt sorry for the sting on the top of his friend's head, then packed up his nail gun and left quickly. He returned shortly.

They discovered that the nail was driven deep into Chandler's head. After considering several options, including doing nothing at all, they called an ambulance. Chandler was rushed to a hospital.

"I felt bad," said his friend, who stayed behind to finish the job. "But I had a job to do, too. You can't just stop these kind of jobs just because somebody has a little nail in their head."

Chandler said a doctor used a common claw hammer to remove the nail. "I took one look at the nail and said, 'Nurse, hand me my claw hammer, STAT!' and threw down the pry bar. I felt I needed a precision instrument."

Chandler said he feels "very lucky, very, very lucky" to have escaped serious injury. "I feel very, very, very lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky..."

There ARE no serious injuries.

The Yeetle Box

Yeetle Box - Search Engines Provide Vetting for Vice Presidential Selection

Republican presidential candidate John McCain stated on Monday that Google had made investigating his list of potential candidates a little bit easier.

"You know, basically it's a Google," he said at a fund-raising luncheon when asked how the selection process was going. "What you can find out now on the Internet -- it's remarkable."

Aides to the McCain campaign for president noted that they also used Ask Jeeves, HotBot, and YouTube, as well as more traditional search engines such as Yahoo, MSN Live, and Alta Vista, but were impressed with Google's image search and mapping capabilities.

Said McCain, "You know, you can zoom into a person's house right from your computer. You can see streets and everything from satellites far out in space."

Vice presidential candidates go through rigorous screening to determine whether they would help a White House aspirant in a general election -- and to make sure there is nothing in their background that could be damaging down the road. When the selection process first began, McCain turned to Ask Jeeves. Reportedly, he asked an aide to type "Who is a good vice presidential candidate for John McCain?" He received no results.

An aide closer to the campaign noted on the condition of anonymity that McCain has shown a fondness for Booble, and, as a result, is vetting Bob Goldstein, who is self-defined as "Pornographer, author, champion of the first amendment, and very dirty old man, he's our own little weapon of mass destruction. Put Al in office, if only to see Dick Cheney crap his pants."

"We will continue to vet through the Googling process until we find a first-rate running mate for this ticket of change we can remember."

The Yeetle Box

Yeetle Box - I Think He's Turning Japanese

Women from the Japanese city of Obama celebrated their U.S. namesake Barack as the Democratic presidential nominee.

Obama City in Japan has embraced the Democratic candidate for the U.S. presidency, and tourism is on the increase, especially from American visitors.

Some of the merchandise on sales includes "Obama" t-shirts and "Obama" bean cakes, while a Barack Obama statue has recently been unveiled.


Not to be outdone, John McCain noted his support among Japanese sumo wrestlers as well.


Said McCain, "The sumo wrestler represents the kind of strength I embody. They are to wrestling what I am to American politics."

Senator Clinton, whose opinion is completely irrelevant weight is as well.

"Sumo wrestling is restricted to only men. I will do everything in my power to break down this barrier using every ounce of foreign policy credentials. I am uniquely suited to bring sumo wrestling to women all over the world."

The Yeetle Box

Yeetle Box - McCain Seeks Clinton Voters

Senator McCain, moved on Wednesday to woo women and other Clinton backers, seeking to cash in on the disappointment of Clinton's supports.

"I would welcome any of Senator Clinton's supporters' vote," McCain said in Louisiana, adding he would seek backing from people across the political spectrum - except for those supporting Bob Baar. "Can't stand that guy," say McCain.

"I think there's a lot of Senator Clinton's supporters who will support me because of their belief that Senator Obama does not have the experience or the knowledge or the judgment to address this nation's national security challenges," McCain said, echoing the same losing themes Clinton shrieked for 16 months.

McCain, like Obama, complimented Clinton on Tuesday night even as he ripped into his new Democratic opponent.

"She deserves a lot more appreciation than she sometimes received," McCain said of Clinton. "As the father of three daughters, I owe her a debt for inspiring millions of women to believe there is no opportunity in this great country beyond their reach."

When noted that Obama was a black man, and, therefore, a significant figure in American history as well, McCain looked befuddled. "He's black?"

McCain does have an advantage. Just as Hillary Clinton courted the dumb, white voter, so, too, McCain will be hoping to sway the ignorant toward his side.

"I'm disappointed that Hillary didn't make it, being a female," said Brittany Ford, 19, a black student from Columbus, Ohio. She said she's now looking at McCain, adding simply: "I don't care for Obama. He's just so white! Maybe off-white. I don't know. "

McCain looked gleeful as he thumbed the Clinton playbook. "This is a goldmine!" he cackled. "Just wait until I get him a town hall meeting! I'll be much better at implementing the Clinton playbook than Clinton because I'm a Republican with the full backing of the current president."

Rock on, McCain.

The Yeetle Box

Yeetle Box - OBAMA DEMOCRATIC NOMINEE

YES!

The Yeetle Box

Yeetle Box - Harrient Christian: Clinton's Most Steadfast Supporter

You know things are bad, when ...

.




The Yeetle Box

Yeetle Box - Dick Cheney Made A Joke

What's with Dick Cheney? Somebody check his temperature and blood pressure. He made a joke. And I laughed.




But others did not.

Cheney's comment was denounced by both Democrats and Republicans.

"This is exactly the type of stereotyping that we don't need from our elected officials," said Rep. Shelley Moore Capito, R-W.Va. "It's disrespectful, and it's certainly not funny. ... As a proud state, I can say we are disappointed. Doesn't he know that we're like family in West Virginia?"

Sen. Robert Byrd, D-W.Va., blasted Cheney, saying that for a vice president to openly display "such contempt and astounding ignorance toward his own countrymen and their genetics" was an insult to all Americans.

"Now that he or the administration he represents no longer needs their vote, Mr. Cheney apparently feels that he is now free to mock and belittle the people of West Virginia," Byrd said. "Well, I have 39 children in West Virginia, and 62 grandchildren, and 179 cousins, and 456 uncles who don't think it's funny at all."

Cheney spokeswoman Lea Anne McBride said later Monday. "The vice president apologizes to the people of West Virginia for the inappropriate remark on the off chance he might be related to many of them."

In a question-and-answer session after giving a speech at the National Press Club, Cheney said also joked that he wouldn't object to a family reunion with Obama, but said he didn't think the candidate would be up for one — "at least not before November."

Lighten up, folks. He's leaving.

The Yeetle Box

Yeetle Box - Of Peaches and the Man I Sing...

I think I have been quite restrained when it has come to choosing sides in the Democratic primary race between Senators Obama and Clinton. But now, Puerto Rico has spoken (sort of), and it is obvious that the nominee will be chosen by superdelegates. I don't know why they are called superdelegates because they do not seem to behave in any super kind of way.

That said, here is the bottom line from my perspective:

Hillary Clinton has run an entitlement campaign that focuses exclusively on her winning the nomination and subjagating all other matters to her winning the nomination - including the health of the Democratic party, the ability for the Democratic party to plan for its own convention in a timely and orderly fashion, and the Clinton brand itself.

Clinton is a fighter. But she is not a fighter for unity, progressive politics, nor even her constituents. She is using the emotions of a fabricated "fight" - fighting the great oppression of women across this great land we call the United States of America. Her very candidacy contradicts this stance. No. She is fighting for her own political career at any expense.

To whit, Michigan. We do not really know how many people voted for any other candidate but Clinton. We know this because there were no other candidates on the ballot, Harold Ickes' stance aside that "Uncommitted" is a candidate.

We do not know how many people walked into that voting booth, and, wanting a democrat, but seeing no other name, defaulted to Clinton. That is, it is possible that many voters went to the voting booth to vote for Obama or Edwards or Biden, et al, but, upon seeing ONE choice (one real choice - let's get serious), they voted, not for Senator Clinton, but for the Democratic nominee listed on the ballot.

We do not know as well, how many people would have voted for someone other than Clinton had they been allowed to campaign in Michigan - a state very similar to Wisconsin.

And there's the issue of the write-in votes that were not counted. Not 4 people. 30,000.

Now, as to Florida. Obama's concession of 19 delegates was the single most magnanimous act by a potential presidential candidate I have ever seen. And it outmaneuvered Clinton. We know how much she hates that.

But, again, no. Not good enough for Senator Clinton. She wants it all! (Someone said that at the RBL meeting.)

There lies her problem. She wants so much to have it all, she will take it all away from a man who has acheived something unheard of in recent political history: A black man born of a racially-mixed marriage, raised by a single, white woman who was a first-term Senator had the gaul to challenge the Clinton brand, the Clinton talking points, the Clinton legacy. This is the better story for the USA and the world. This is what boils Clinton's blood.

Not by sense of entitlement but by organization, message, and fundraising has Obama acheived the unthinkable - knocking out a Clinton, back by a former president known for his fundraising abilities. Yet, Obama raised more money.

He knocked out Clinton on message because her message is as simple as this: "Vote for me. Just vote for me." This message morphed into something far more insidious: "I'm a woman. I'm a former First Lady. I moved to New York and served in the State Senate there just to position myself for this moment. Vote for me. My husband was a president. Vote for me. I dodged sniper fire in Bosnia. Vote for me. I helped bring peace to Ireland. Vote for me. I am not above insinuting my opponent is racist. Vote for me. "

She calls this being a "fighter."

Those of you who support Clinton must understand she really has not demonstrated a concern for you nor for the Democratic party nor greater good of the country. She has used you to vote for her. That's old politics.

Obama is not perfect. He says so. Soon, we will have a sanctioned Democratic nominee. Most likely Obama. The idea that Clinton would by her silence sanction her supporters to cast a protest vote against a legitimate candidate in favor of John McCain (Lord!) is unforgiveable. She is writing her political obituary as we speak.

Here are the facts:

Obama has more delegates (super and otherwise). Obama has more of the popular vote, assuming we apply the mathematical principles we teach in grade schools. This equals a win.

Clinton did not dodge sniper fire. Nor did she assume a significant role in the Ireland. Nor did she advocate human rights for women in China. She said she did.

And that's the strength of her argument: repetition to the point where you almost want to let her be the nominee because you just want her to shutup. But, then, consider this: of the two, why is it more acceptable for Obama to take the higher road, to concede and to concede, more so than the standard we expect from Clinton.

It is a truth. We do not hold Clinton and Obama to the same standards of conduct. We wring our hands over something someone in his church said, but haven't peeked into Clinton's church. We find scandal and fault in the words of others just because Obama sat in the same damned room as them.

This is the media's fault. Stop it.

But, if you don't like it, and you favor arguments swirling around much similar to what the definiton of "is" is, then you have deluded yourself...again.

I supported Bill Clinton. I did not think he committed impeachable offenses. But I did think he committed a divorce-able offense. But Hillary stood by her man. Why? For the good of the country? What rare woman thought more highly or First Lady Clinton at that time?

The Clinton's time has past. Obama represents the future of American politics and can align this country with a face more representative to the world.

How can I be so certain of my support and passion for Obama as president?

Well, Wade Jones, a Belmont, N.C., man sold a sweet potato on eBay Wednesday that he says resembles Democratic U.S. presidential contender Barack Obama. He sold it for $8.49. Wade Jones described it as a "Sweet Potato that looks like future Prez Barack Obama." More significant than the fact that Mr. Jones sold the potato is the fact that people bid on it, thus elevating Obama to the status enjoyed by Mother Theresa and the Virgin Mary and Jesus.

Top that, Hillary!

The Yeetle Box