The Austrian Supreme Court judges definitively ruled that a chimpanzee is not a person.
An animal-rights group had tried to have a chimp declared a person so the activists could gain guardianship of it, because the shelter where the critter had lived for 25 years was going bankrupt.
Donors had raised money, but under Austrian law, only a person can receive such gifts.
In a separate ruling, however, the judges ruled definitively that a person can be a chimpanzee. They cited George W. Bush as evidence of this evolutionary conundrum.
The Yeetle Box
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