Yeetle Box - War Crimes

Officials in Brattleboro, Vermont have decided to allow residents to vote at a town meeting on whether to indict U.S. President Bush for war crimes.

The Brattleboro Select Board voted 3-2 to put the measure, which would allow for the indictment and arrest of President George Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney for

• war crimes,
• perjury, or
• obstruction of justice charges

if they ever visit Vermont.

Town Clerk Annette Cappy said residents will vote on the measure using paper ballots at the March 4 meeting.

Critics of the measure have questioned whether the town actually has the power to enforce an affirmative outcome of the vote. Nevertheless, they are willing to see what happens. Said an opposition town official, "You know, I voted against this, but, still, it would be kinda cool to find out what happens. We do have the prison space."

Kurt Daims, who organized the petition drive to have the measure considered, claims Bush and Cheney committed perjury by lying to Congress and the entire nation about the basis of the war in Iraq. "This is exactly what the charter envisioned as a citizen initiative," Daims said. "People want to express themselves and they want to say how they feel. If they come here, they will feel the wrath of the great state of Vermont. We are the leading producer of maple syrup, and that ain't something to mess with."

Vermont is the only state Bush has not visited since he took office in 2001. Said President Bush, "Vermont is really hard to find on the map."

Dick Cheney's office issued this statement:

"Looks like a lot of quail in Vermont. I might go hunting there soon."

The Yeetle Box