Yeetle Box - The Gore Gore Boars

Wild boars are breeding at a huge rate in Germany and wreaking greater havoc than in any other European country by destroying crops, killing pets and even attacking people, appearing to deploy a surge similar to that deployed by the US in Iraq.

Findings by the Hanover-based Institute of Wildlife Research show that Germany's boar population rose by 320 percent last year because of better access to food and bigger litters of young.

"It's impossible for their habitat to adapt to a surge of this degree," the institute's Gunter Sodeikat said. "Well, OK, it's not impossible because, well, it's happening, but it's still weird."

Increasingly encroaching on suburban areas, boars have been reported attacking people, killing pets, and digging up corpses in cemeteries. Graveyards and gardens are being ravaged daily, police say. Zombie boars, too, have multiplied, busting through the doors of abandoned homes. Wild boars from outer space have landed in the Netherlands and are planning to meet the wild boars of Germany. Other wild boards sightings are coming in daily.

The wild boar surge has also caused mounting destruction of crops and raised the risk of swine fever spreading, Sodeikat said. Swine fever, the wild boar version of a human being's Saturday Night fever, could result in thousands of Wild Board discos popping up everywhere wild boars wish to dance. And nobody can stop them.

Should we have seen this coming? You bet! The wild boar and a boar's head are common charges in heraldry. It represents what are often seen as the positive qualities of the boar, namely courage and fierceness in battle.
It should be noted that the wild boar has cross-cultural influence and reference.

• In Greek mythology, two boars are particularly well known. The Erymanthian Boar was hunted by Heracles as one of his Twelve Labours, and the Calydonian Boar was hunted in the Calydonian Hunt by dozens of other mythological heroes, including some of the Argonauts and the huntress Atalanta. When the Greeks were not attending to their boys, they hunted boar for status.
  
  


• In Celtic mythology the boar was sacred to the goddess Arduinna, and boar hunting features in several stories of Celtic and Irish mythology. One such story is that of how Fionn mac Cumhaill ("Finn McCool") lured his rival Diarmuid Ua Duibhne to his death - gored by a wild boar.
  
  


• Ares, the Greek god of war, had the ability to transform himself into a wild boar, and even gored his son to death in this form to prevent the young man from growing too attractive and stealing his wife, similar to Oedipus marrying his own mother.
  
  


• The Norse gods Freyr and Freyja both had boars. Freyr's boar was named Gullinbursti ("Golden Mane"), who was manufactured by the dwarf Sindri due to a bet between Sindri's brother Brokkr and Loki. The bristles in Gullinbursti's mane glowed in the dark to illuminate the way for his owner. Freya rode the boar Hildesvini (Battle Swine) when she was not using her cat-drawn chariot. According to the poem Hyndluljóð, Freyja concealed the identity of her protégé Óttar by turning him into a boar. In Norse mythology, the boar was generally associated with fertility.
  
  


• In Persia during the Sassanid Empire, boars were respected as fierce and brave creatures, and the adjective "Boraz (Goraz)" (meaning boar) was sometimes added to a person's name to show his bravery and courage. The famous Sassanid spahbod, Shahrbaraz, who conquered Egypt and the Levant, had his name derived Shahr(city) + Baraz(boar like/brave) meaning "Boar of the City".
  
  


• In Hindu mythology, the third avatar of the Lord Vishnu was Varaha, a boar.
  


• In Chinese horoscope the boar (sometimes also translated as pig), is one of the twelve animals of the zodiac, based on the legends about its creation, either involving Buddha or the Jade Emperor.
  
  


• In the Asterix comic series, wild boar are the favourite food of Obelix whose immense appetite means that he can eat several roasted boar in a single sitting.
  

The potential of wild boar globabl domination is unnerving. Do not attempt to capture a wild boar on your own. Keep calm and call your local police (sometimes derogatively referred to as "pigs" - which now appears to be a mistake of genicidal proporations.)

We took our eye off the ball.

The YeetleMaster