Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Yeetle Box - We, Robots

2009 is upon us, and what better way to celebrate the upcoming year than to witness the enslavement of humankind. Enjoy!






The situational awareness mast (or Zippermast) from Geosystems Inc. is a telescoping linear actuator that can vertically translate a robot's sensor suite for better visibility. In this video, a Zippermast is affixed to an I-Robot Packbot.





Using a Persistence of Vision (POV) as a human-robot interface, this bot brings a sense of perspective hitherto unknown to our species.





Troody is a 16 DOF autonomously powered and controlled biped robot built to resemble a Troodon, a small carnivorous dinosaur that lived in the Cretaceous period. There is no practical need for a Troodon.





This robot sports two DLR-III lightweight arms and two DLR-II hands. This makes it a powerful research platform for bi-manual manipulation - something I think everyone can get behind.





PR 1 Robot Feeding Person. Well, the Matrix has to start somewhere. It's just a matter of time.

The YeetleMaster

Monday, December 29, 2008

Yeetle Box - Virginity Takes a Dive

A new study by the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Pubic Health found that teens who take virginity pledges are just as likely to have sex as teens who don't make such promises -- and they're less likely to practice safe sex to prevent disease or pregnancy. The findings were authored by Janet E. Rosembaum and were published in the January issue of the journal Pediatrics.

"Previous studies found that pledgers were more likely to delay having sex than non-pledgers," said Dr. Rosenbaum. "I used the same data as previous studies but a different statistical method - the less reliable Euclidean method which forms data into geometric shapes."

This method allowed Rosenbaum to compare those who had taken a virginity pledge with similar teens who hadn't taken a pledge but were likely to delay having sex, she said. She added that she didn't include teens who were unlikely to take a pledge because they were less likely to be virgins anyway.


"Virginity pledgers and similar non-pledgers don't differ in the rates of vaginal, oral or anal sex or any other sexual behavior," Rosenbaum said. "Strikingly, pledgers are less likely than similar non-pledgers to use condoms and also less likely to use any form of birth control. Oddly enough, it was the pledgers who went for the really kinky sex - bestiality especially."

Teens who had taken a pledge had a statistically insignificant 0.1 fewer sex partners during the past year, but the same number of partners overall as those who had not pledged. "A 0.1 sex partner is really just masturbation," she noted.

The study also found that, five years after taking a virginity pledge, more than 80 percent of pledgers denied ever making such a promise. Said one pledger, "My Dad made me pledge. That doesn't count."

Dr. Rosenbaum said teens who are religious tend to delay having sex, but that has nothing to do with virginity pledges or abstinence-only sex education programs. "Religious teens fear more demonic possession and virginal sacrifices than sex," said Dr. Rosenbaum.

In a related study, funded by the government, it was found that the primary cause for teenage pregnancy was sex.

YeetleMaster

Monday, December 22, 2008

Yeetle Box - It's A Wonderful Life

After receiving billions in aid from U.S. taxpayers, the nation's largest banks say they can't track exactly how they're spending the money or they simply refuse to discuss it.

"We've lent some of it. We've not lent some of it. We've not given any accounting of, 'Here's how we're doing it,'" said Thomas Kelly, a spokesman for JPMorgan Chase, which received $25 billion in emergency bailout money. "We have not disclosed that to the public. We're declining to."

The Associated Press contacted 21 banks that received at least $1 billion in government money and asked four questions:

How much has been spent?
What was it spent on?
How much is being held in savings?
What's the plan for the rest?

None of the banks provided specific answers.

"We're not providing dollar-in, dollar-out tracking," said Barry Koling, a spokesman for Atlanta, Ga.-based SunTrust Banks Inc., which got $3.5 billion in taxpayer dollars. "Why would we do that?"

Some banks said they simply didn't know where the money was going.

"We manage our capital in its aggregate," said Regions Financial Corp. spokesman Tim Deighton, who said the Birmingham, Ala.-based company is not tracking how it is spending the $3.5 billion it received as part of the financial bailout. "By aggregate we mean we manage our capital as we see fit. Duh!"

There are no consequences for banks who don't comply.

"It is entirely appropriate for the American people to know how their taxpayer dollars are being spent in private industry," said Elizabeth Warren, the top congressional watchdog overseeing the financial bailout. "Unless, of course, it involves this bailout money. Most Americans can't balance a checkbook anyway!"

Nearly every bank, including Citibank and Bank of America, two of the largest recipients of bailout money have issued generic public relations statements explaining that the money was being used to strengthen balance sheets and continue making loans to ease the credit crisis.

"As one of the largest financial institutions in the world, Citibank believes our customers rely on our privacy practices."

Other banks, such as Morgan Stanley spokeswoman Carissa Ramirez, offered to discuss the matter with reporters on condition of anonymity. Ramirez sent an e-mail saying: "Yea, we're gonna have to decline to comment on your story. If you could just let it go, that would be great."

Further, most banks wouldn't say why they were keeping the details secret.

"We're not sharing any other details. We're just not at this time," said Wendy Walker, a spokeswoman for Dallas-based Comerica Inc., which received $2.25 billion from the government. "If you have a secret, you don't share anything. That's the nature of a secret."

Heine, the New York Mellon Corp. spokesman who said he wouldn't share spending specifics, added: "I just would prefer if you wouldn't say that we're not going to discuss those details. I just would prefer that we not talk about it at all. I would prefer not to."

Warren, the congressional watchdog appointed by Democrats, said her oversight panel will try to force the banks to say where they've spent the money. "We're not hopeful they will release any information. We're just the government. We're the little guy in this thing."

The YeetleMaster

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Yeetle Box - W Gets a Twofer

In Iraq, the two strongest insults are to throw your shoes at someone and to call them a dog. George W. Bush, in a recent visit to Baghdad, got a twofer. An Iraqi reporter called U.S. President George W. Bush a "dog" and threw his shoes at him, sullying a farewell visit to Baghdad meant to mark greater security in Iraq after years of bloodshed.

I suppose it is possible to argue that the level of violence has declined in Iraq.

Bush sought to underline improved security by landing in daylight and venturing out beyond the city's heavily fortified international Green Zone where he declared the war was not over.

Then, during a news conference with Prime Minister Maliki, an Iraqi journalist shouted in Arabic "this is a goodbye kiss from the Iraqi people, dog," and hurled his shoes at Bush. One of the shoes sailed over the president's head and slammed into the wall behind him. He had to duck to miss the other one, demonstrating remarkable agility for a man his age - as if he had done this before.



Bush remarked, "I don't know what the guy's cause was. I didn't feel the least bit threatened by it."

Maliki, who had a strained look on his face after the shoe-throwing, praised Bush: "You have stood by Iraq in your size ten loafers for a very long time, starting with bombing the hell out of us, the rebuilding the destruction you caused while neglecting your own country and causing it to plummet into a deep recession. For this, Iraq, Iran, Syria, and the entire region will be forever grateful."

Though Iraq has slipped down the list of Americans' concerns as the recession-hit U.S. economy has taken center stage, polls show most people think the war was a mistake - and have thrown down their shoes in repeatedly - metaphorically speaking.

Of note, Bush, dressed casually and wearing a black baseball cap and Groucho Marx mustache after his night-time getaway from the White House, made a rare appearance in the press cabin just before takeoff.

"Nobody knew who I was," he joked when an aide complimented him on his disguise.

Correction, George: Nobody wanted to know.

The YeetleMaster

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Yeetle Box - What Am I? An Idiot?

UNITED NATION (UN)
DEBT RECONCILIATION DEPARTMENT.
GENEVA-SWITZERLAND.
Our Ref: UN-0XX2/987/2007


Dear Sir/Madam,

U.S.A GOVERNMENT, WORLD BANK, UNITED NATION ORGANIZATION OFFICIAL APPROVAL PAYMENT VALUED $8.3M The British Prime Minister in conjunction with U.S.A GOVERNMENT, WORLD BANK, UNITED NATION ORGANIZATION do hereby give this irrevocable approval order with Release Code: GNC/3480/02/00 in your favour for your Inheritance/contract entitlement/award winning payment with the UNITED NATION to your nominated bank account.

Now you?re new Payment, United nation Approval No; UN5685P, White House Approved No: WH44CV, Reference No.-35460021, Allocation No: 674632 Password No: 339331, Pin Code No: 55674 and your Certificate of Merit Payment No: 103, Released Code No: 0 Be informed that we have verified your payment agreement file as directed to us; your name appeared in the next on the list of our outstanding beneficiary to received payment at the second quarter of the year. SO contact: MR. PETER JEFFERSON on his contact Direct email: infopeterjeffersson@i12.com for immediate release of your contract/inheritance/Award Winning claim

Be informed that you are not allowed to correspond with any person or office anymore, You are required to send bellow Information for your transfer:

1) YOUR FULL NAME:
2) ADDRESS, CITY, STATE AND COUNTRY.
3) PHONE, FAX AND MOBILE
4) COMPANY NAME (IF ANY) POSITION AND ADDRESS
5) BANK DETAILS
6) PROFESSION, AGE AND MARITAL STATUS
7) COPY OF YOUR INT'L PASSPORT/DRIVERS LICENSE. NOTE: YOUR PERSONAL
CONTACT/COMMUNICATION CODE WITH CITI BANK IS (511),

YOU ARE ADVICE TO SEND YOUR FULL BANKING INFORMATION TO THE CITI BANK OF LONDON THROUGH THE OFFICE OF INTERNATIONAL REMMITTANCE DIRECTOR HEADED BY MR. PETER JEFFERSON AND MAKE SURE YOU SPEAK WITH HIM, WITH YOUR NEW PAYMENT CODE FOR RELEASE OF YOUR PAYMENT AND SEND HIM ALL YOUR BANKING INFORMATION NOW. Regard. Senate CONTACT CODE (511) OFFICER: MR. PETER JEFFERSON.

Best regards

SIR GEORGE GRAHAM.
DEBT RECONCILIATION DEPARTMENT.
UNITED NATION AND USA GOVERNMENT.

==============================================================

Dear Sir George Graham,

You must think I am an idiot! I have already received notice of receipt for more the $10 million from a benefactor in Nigeria! I know this is a scam because of its similarity to the legitimate correspondence I have already received.

And if you guys knew what you were doing and were legit, you'd know that I sent all my banking and personal information to them. I am not a fool!

With great disgust,

The YeetleMaster



The YeetleMaster

Friday, December 12, 2008

Yeetle Box - I AM RICH, SUCKERS!

ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONITARY CRIMES DIVISION
FBI HEADQUARTERS IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, NW WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-0001
Website: www.fbi.gov

ATTENTION FUND BENEFICIARY,


THIS IS AN OFFICIAL ADVICE FROM THE FBI FOREIGN

REMITTANCE/TELEGRAPHIC DEPT., IT HAS COME TO OUR NOTICE THAT THE C.B.N BANK NIGERIA DISTRICT HAS RELEASED 10,500,000.00 U.S DOLLARS INTO BANK OF AMERICA IN YOUR NAME AS THE BENEFICIARY, BY INHERITANCE MEANS.

THE C.B.N BANK NIGERIA KNOWING FULLY WELL THAT THEY DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH FACILITIES TO EFFECT THIS PAYMENT FROM THE UNITED KINGDOM TO YOUR ACCOUNT, USED WHAT WE KNOW AS A SECRET DIPLOMATIC TRANSIT PAYMENT S.T.D.P TO PAY THIS FUND THROUGH WIRE TRANSFER, THEY USED THIS MEANS TO COMPLETE THE PAYMENT.THEY ARE STILL, WAITING FOR CONFIRMATION FROM YOU ON THE ALREADY TRANSFERRED FUNDS, WHICH WAS MADE IN DIRECT TRANSFER SO THAT THEY CAN DO FINAL CREDITING TO YOUR ACCOUNT. SECRET DIPLOMATIC PAYMENTS ARE NOT MADE UNLESS THE FUNDS ARE RELATED TO TERRORIST ACTIVITIES WHY MUST YOUR PAYMENT BE MADE IN SECRET TRANSFER, IF YOUR TRANSACTION IS LEGITIMATE, IF YOU ARE NOT A TERRORIST, THEN WHY DID YOU NOT RECEIVE THE MONEY DIRECTLY INTO YOUR ACCOUNT, THIS IS A PURE CODED, MEANS OF PAYMENT?


RECORDS WHICH WE HAVE HAD WITH THIS METHOD OF PAYMENT IN THE PAST HAS ALWAYS BEEN RELATED TO TERRORIST ACTS, WE DO NOT WANT YOU TO GET INTO TROUBLE AS SOON AS THESE FUNDS REFLECT IN YOUR ACCOUNT IN THE U.S.A, SO IT IS OUR DUTY AS A WORD WIDE COMMISSION TO CORRECT THIS LITTLE PROBLEM BEFORE THIS FUND WILL BE CREDITED INTO YOUR PERSONAL ACCOUNT.

DUE TO THE INCREASED DIFFICULTY AND UNNECESSARY SCRUTINY BY THE AMERICAN AUTHORITIES WHEN FUNDS COME FROM OUTSIDE OF EUROPE, AND THE MIDDLE EAST, THE F.B.I BANK COMMISSION FOR EUROPE HAS STOPPED THE TRANSFER ON ITS WAY TO DELIVER PAYMENT OF $10,500,000.00 TO DEBIT YOUR RESERVE ACCOUNT AND PAY YOU THROUGH A SECURED DIPLOMATIC TRANSIT ACCOUNT (S.D.T.A). WE GOVERN AND OVERSEES FUNDS TRANSFER FOR THE WORLD BANK AND THE REST OF THE WORLD.


WE ADVICE YOU CONTACT US IMMEDIATELY, AS THE FUNDS HAVE BEEN STOPPED AND ARE BEING HELD IN OUR CUSTODY, UNTIL YOU CAN BE ABLE TO PROVIDE US WITH A DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY SEAL OF TRANSFER (DIST) WITHING 3 DAYS FROM THE WORLD LOCAL BANK THAT AUTHORIZE THE TRANSFER FROM WHERE THE FUNDS WAS TRANSFERRED FROM TO CERTIFY THAT THE FUNDS THAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO RECEIVE FROM NIGERIA ARE ANTITERRORIST/DRUG FREE OR WE SHALL HAVE CAUSE TO CROSS AND IMPOUND THE PAYMENT, WE SHALL RELEASE THE FUNDS IMMEEDIATELY WE RECEIVE THIS LEGAL DOCUMENTS .

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We have decided to contact you directly to acquire the proper verifications and proof from you to show that you are the rightful person to receive this fund, because of the amount involve, we want to make sure is a clean and legal money you are about to receive. Be informed that the fund are now in United State in your name, but right now we have ask the bank not to release the fund to anybody that comes to them, unless we ask them to do so, because we have to carry out our investigations first before releasing the fund to you.

Note that the fund is in the BANK OF AMERICA right now, but we have ask them not to credit the fund to you yet, because we need a solid proof and verifications from you before releasing the funds.So to this regards you are to re-assure and proof to us that what you are about to receive is a clean money by sending to us FBI Identification Record and also Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer (DIST) to satisfy to us that the money your about to receive is legitimate and real money. You are to forward the documents to us immediately if you have it in your possession, if you dont have it let us know so that we will direct and inform you where to obtain the document and send to us so that we will ask the bank holding the funds the Bank Of America to go ahead Crediting your account immediately.

This Documents are to be issued to you from the World Local Bank that Authorized the transfer, so get back to us immediately if you dont have the document so that we will inform you the particular place to obtain the document in United Kingdom U.K, because we have come to realize that the fund was Authorized by H.S.B.C Bank in London. An FBI Identification Record and Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer (DIST) often referred to as a Criminal History Record or Rap Sheet, is a listing of certain information taken from fingerprint submissions retained by the FBI in connection with arrests and, in some instances, federal employment, naturalization, or military service.


THIS CONDITION IS VALID UNTIL 17TH OF DECEMBER 2008 AFTER WE SHALL TAKE ACTIONS ON CANCELLING THE PAYMENT AND THEN CHARGES YOU FOR ILLEGALLY MOVING FUNDS OUT OF NIGERIA.


GURANTEE: FUNDS WILL BE RELEASED ON CONFIRMATION OF THE DOCUMENT.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
FINAL INSTRUCTION:
60F CREDIT PAYMENT INSTRUCTION: IRREVOCABLE CREDIT GUARANTEE
61E BENEFICIARY HAS FULL POWER WHEN VALIDATION IS CLEARED
62 BENNEFICIARIES BANK INU.S.A., CAN ONLY RELEASE FUNDS-
62 UPON CONFIRMATION FROM THE WORLD BANK/UNITED NATIONS.
64 BEARERS MUST CLEAR BANK PROTOCOL AND VALIDATION REQUEST
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

NOTE: We have asked for the above documents to make available the most complete and up-to date records possible for the enhancement of public safety,welfare and security of Society while recognizing the importance of individual privacy rights.. If you fail to provide the Documents to us, we will charge you with the FBI and take our proper action against you for not proofing to us the legitimate of the fund you are about to receive.

The United States Department of Justice Order 556-73 establishes rules and regulations for the subject of an FBI Identification Record to obtain a copy of his or her own Record for review. The FBI Criminal Justice Information Services (CJIS) Division processes these requests to check illegal activities in U.S.A.

An individual may request a copy of his or her own FBI Identification Record for personal review or to challenge information on the Record. Other reasons an individual may request a copy of his or her own Identification Record may include international adoption or to satisfy a requirement to live or work in a foreign country or receive funds from another country (i.e., Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer, letter of good conduct, criminal history, background, etc.)

FBI Director
Robert S. Mueller, III

=======================================================

Dear Mr. Mueller III,

I am receipt of your correspondence regarding the CBN Bank Nigeria District releasing $10,500,000.00 U.S dollars into Bank of America in my name as the beneficiary, by inheritance means.

Please be aware that as I am a complete idiot, I recognize this correspondence legitimate and will send to you any required information to get my grubby hands on the $10,500,000.00 sent to me by Nigeria. Further, as I know no one is Nigeria, I must tell you I am surprised and grateful to find I have such a generous benefactor in that country. I am proud to say that Nigeria is one of my favorite countries.

Given my stupidity, I have forwarded to you the following information:

Legal name
Address
Phone number
Past addresses and phone numbers
Names, addresses, and phone numbers of all known relatives
Email addresses
Social Security Number
Drivers License Number
Bank account number, including PIN
Tax forms for the past 10 years
Passport
Resume'
Most recent laundry list
Secret Santa recipient
Random names, address, and phone numbers taken from the U.S. white pages
User names and passwords for all web sites I frequent

I hope this information not only expedites my inheritance from unknown benefactors in Nigeria, but assists you in your anti-terrorist activities.

Should you require further assistance in continuing to make me the fool I am, please do not hesitate to call me directly at my home phone, at which time I would be happy to be dumb enough to respond to your request.

God Bless America

The YeetleMaster

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Yeetle Box - Blagojevich Offices Out of Springfield

In case you missed it, Gov. Rod Blagojevich and his chief of staff, John Harris, were arrested by FBI agents for what U.S. Atty. Patrick Fitzgerald called a "staggering" level of corruption involving pay-to-play politics in Illinois' top office.

Blagojevich is accused of a wide-ranging criminal conspiracy, including alleged attempts by the governor to try to sell or trade the U.S. Senate seat left vacant by President-elect Barack Obama in exchange for financial benefits for the governor and his wife.


As a long-time resident of Illinois, I am neither shocked nor appalled. Government corruption is not news. Not in Illinois. Nor any other state for that matter.

What shocks me is that the people of this country have not risen as one to demand greater government accountability - aka Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, Sarah Palin, Oliver North, Ronald Reagan, Spiro Agnew, Richard Nixon, and [fill in the blank].

And the pundits! How about Rush Limbaugh? Recently he stated on his radio program that he would not participate in the recession. (I am going to suffer an aneurysm if I don't get that statement out of my head.)

The real question is where are the American people? Well, a recent straw poll conducted by me found that while local, state, and federal government corruption has been puttering around recklessly in full view of our sanity, the American people have been busy shopping, cleaning guns, drinking, and bashing the gay community. In between, we have been paying close attention to Britney Spears and American Idol. Or Dancing with the Stars. All the while, government and corporate corruption have ruined millions of lives and will continue to do so while we're shopping for the bargains of failed retailers and foreclosed properties.

We are watching the next great depression on television. Feels like a reality TV show.

So, what did we expect?

By the way, all this talk about Chicago politics makes me want to scream, "THE GOVERNOR RESIDES IN THE STATE CAPITAL, NOT IN CHICAGO!"

This country has a long history of political corruption directly tied to voter ignorance.

Shocked?

Really?

The YeetleMaster

Monday, December 08, 2008

The Yeetle Box - Butt Bandit Apprehended

The "Butt Bandit" - aka Thomas Larvie - known for making greasy imprints of his nether parts on windows in the north-central Nebraska city of Valentine has been sentenced to more than a year in jail.

Cherry County Attorney Eric Scott says police cracked the nearly year-long case when they caught 35-year-old Thomas Larvie in the act on Nov. 19.

Scott says Larvie was sentenced Thursday to 13 1/2 months in jail after being convicted of eight misdemeanor counts of public indecency and one of disturbing the peace. Attorneys for the Butt Bandit will appeal the decision citing the town's violation of the Butt Bandit's freedom of speech.

Said one attorney, "You can burn a flag; I think you can leave a butt print here or there."

Said another attorney, "This could be a groundbreaking case. This is absolutely no precedent for this sentence. What crime was committed?"

Authorities said Larvie used lotion or petroleum jelly to make imprints of his naked behind — and sometimes his groin — on the windows of stores, churches and schools in Valentine beginning in the spring of 2007. Why he performed such assinine acts remains a mystery. However, the Butt Bandit has signed a $1 million book deal, tentatively titled "Cracked," in which he will document his transformation from ordinary citizen to the Butt Bandit.

Townspeople dubbed the vandal the "Butt Bandit" even though no theft was involved. The Butt Bandit's attorney, Harry Balls, has indicated he will file defamation charges against the town. "He stole nothing," said Mr. Balls.

The YeetleMaster

Friday, December 05, 2008

Yeetle Box - Those Crazy Dems

Democrats are growing impatient with President-elect Barack Obama's refusal to inject himself in the major economic crises confronting the country. Obama has sidestepped some policy questions by saying there is only one president at a time - a stance that defies logic and the U.S. Constitution.

"He's going to have to be more assertive than he's been," House Financial Services Committee Chairman Barney Frank, D-Mass., told consumer advocates Thursday. "He is, after all, the president-elect."

Frank, who has been dealing with both the bailout of the financial industry and a proposed rescue of Detroit automakers, said Obama needs to play a more significant role on economic issues.


"At a time of great crisis with mortgage foreclosures and autos, he says we only have one president at a time," Frank said. "I'm afraid that overstates the number of presidents we have. He's got to remedy that situation. He's got to understand that President Bush has no obligation whatsoever as our current President. The president-elect is responsible for these matters."

In his defense, Obama has maintained one of the most public images of any president-elect, holding half a dozen press conferences, where he has entertained question after question about the economy, the mortgage crisis, and the flailing auto industry. He called for passage of extended unemployment benefits — which has passed — and even a stimulus package if possible before Jan. 20. But he has stayed away from trying to dictate remedies for the toughest problems Congress is confronting: the auto industry's troubles and how to spend the $700 billion bailout. This is inexcusable for someone who has not taken office.


Earlier this week, Obama was asked whether he worried that Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson might begin spending the next installment of the money before he assumes the presidency. Obama demurred. Bald face. Demurred like he was the president himself.

"Until Secretary Paulson indicates publicly that he's drawing down the second tranche, the second half of the TARP money, it would be speculation on my part to suggest that that money's going to be used up," he told reporters at a Chicago news conference Wednesday.

Speculation indeed. Oh, Obama did stress that a significant component of the fund should be used to reduce the number of foreclosures, but did he specify a particular remedy? No!

More frightening, he also declined to take a stand in a debate over the source of money for an auto loan package.

"I think it's premature to get into that issue," Obama dodged at the conference.


Rumor is Presidents-elect typically spend the transition period assembling their cabinets, their White House staff and preparing to take the reins of power. But this transition is occurring at an extraordinary time, with bad economic news mounting by the day and with one of the country's major industries begging for a hand to keep from collapsing. The President himself cannot be expected to manage these matters while a lame duck. It's unheard of in Washington politics.

Two Democratic senators involved in trying to salvage the auto companies have said Obama could help move the process along and should become more engaged.

"The Obama team has to step up," Sen. Christopher Dodd, chairman of the Senate Banking Committee and one of the lead negotiators, said Nov. 21 in Hartford, Conn. "In the minds of the people, this is the Obama administration. I don't think we can wait until January 20. He should be ashamed of himself."

Two days later, Sen. Carl Levin of Michigan, a point man in helping his state's main industry, called on Obama to help resolve the dispute over money for the auto loan package.

"It would be very helpful if the president-elect would become more involved in resolving the issue over the source of the funds," he said. "I want him to offer his assistance. He is a person who can really bring people together, and we don't have time for an inauguration. ."


Frank, shrewd and quick-witted, also poked fun at Obama's calls for a "post-partisan" governing environment in Washington. Frank predicted that regulatory legislation aimed at preventing abuses related to subprime mortgages and credit cards stood a much better chance next year, when Democrats have greater majorities in the House and Senate.

"It is a grave mistake to assume that parties are irrelevant to this process," he said. "My one difference with the president-elect, about whom I am very enthusiastic, is when he talks about being post-partisan.

"Having lived with this very right wing Republican group that runs the House most of the time, the notion of trying to deal with them as if we could be post-partisan gives me post-partisan depression," Frank said.

President George W. Bush was quoted as just laughing.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Yeetle Box - Father of the Year

Sam Burt, crazy Australian, made headlines last week when Australian media reported that he and his son Jack, 5 years old, woke up at dawn each day to walk from their home in a remote town in the Northern Territory to school.

The punishment was meted out because Jack had been kicked off the school bus for hitting the driver in the head with an apple core. In Australia, such offenses are dealt with severely as there is a shortage of apples. Now Sam Burt, to discipline his son's act, walks with him about 8 miles every day.

Fellow Northern Territory resident Renee Elliott was so impressed with Burt's approach she set up "The Sam Burt Tough Love Appreciation and Support Group" on Facebook, the world's largest online social network (below).


"All those in favor of Sam Burt's TOUGH LOVE say IIIIIIII," Elliott wrote on the site.

Apparently, the Australian vocalization of approval is the sound of eight consecutive I's.

The site has attracted more than 151 members from around the world since it was set up earlier this week.

"Bravo Sir, Big fan of your work," wrote Corey Wilson from Australia. "I now job with my son to school 37 kilometers. It has changed his entire attitude."

"Good on ya Sam, he will thank you for this one day," wrote Michelle Spooner-Astill from the United Arab Emirates. "This is the kind of torture even we can get behind."

"Finally, a parent takes time to teach their kid about consequence -- WELL DONE!!," wrote Jariah Kaissis. "When my four year old threw a temper tantrum at the zoo, I shot him in the foot. He hasn't had a temper tantrum since."

Burt has become a local hero in his hometown. One Australian newspaper said there have even been calls for him to be named "Father of the Year" in the annual national award.

Since Burt's disciplinary measure took hold, Sam, Burt's son, the apple-throwing hellion, has shown a decline in his grades, lethargy, and lack of interest or curiosity in the world around him.

Monday, December 01, 2008

Yeetle Box - Dear YeetleMaster...

Dear YeetleMaster,

Genetic predisposition and a traumatic childhood have led me to develop debilitating mental disorders that I have spent years working to manage. I'm now at a functional place.

My parents are divorced, and my mother's family has always been very supportive.

My father's family, by contrast, sees mental illness as a stigma and has always disagreed with my approach to treatment.

Recently, they invited me to my grandmother's birthday party. When I arrived, everyone was sitting solemnly around the living room, and the local pastor was there. He calmly explained to me that I was not actually mentally ill but possessed by agents of Satan and in need of an exorcism.

I choked back tears as I explained to them that I did not need any demons driven out, and the evening ended awkwardly.

Now they've invited me for Thanksgiving, and I don't know what to do. I don't want to alienate them, but my symptoms are part of a real disorder and can be treated by medication.

How do I explain to them that while I do want to spend time with them, it's not the Middle Ages, and I don't want or need an exorcism?

—It's the Schizophrenia, Stupid


============================================================

Dear It's the Schizophrenia, Stupid,

Unfortunately, so-called mental illness is, in fact, demonic possession. You have been influenced by the Mental Health Industrial Complexs, and that is Satan's way of creating a portal to your soul. You must stop all medications and other treatments for this disorder in favor of the only way to treat "schizophrenia" - exorcism.

Prior to Thanksgiving, meet with your pastor and request an emergency exorcism. Satan is running rampant within your body in search of your soul. Time is of the essence.

If your pastor cannot perform the exorcism in time, or the exorcism is unsuccessful, spend the holiday somewhere else, preferably in a dark and dank place where there is no sunlight.

If you're too uncomfortable searching for such a place to go, contact your local police force and alert them to your condition. The police have methods and techniques that can, at the very least, keep you from harming others. However, please note that the police cannot rid you of demonic possession. Have the decency to keep others safe from your unholy condition!

What your father's family did for you was commendable. You're very generous not to want to alienate people when you are possessed by Satan. Lucky for you and them, you did not threaten them with a pitchfork.

Your unwillingness to accept that mental illness is code for demonic possession seems an act of willful bigotry not amenable to reason. Either get the exorcism or prepare for an eternity in Hell!

Best regards,



The YeetleMaster

Friday, November 21, 2008

Yeetle Box - Black-Tie Terrorists

Attorney General Michael Mukasey was hospitalized but conscious and alert early Friday after collapsing during a late-night speech to a conservative legal group. It was not clear when the nation's 67-year-old chief law enforcer would be released from George Washington University Hospital, where he was admitted overnight for observation after briefly losing consciousness at the black-tie dinner.

Justice Department spokesman Gina Talamona would not comment when asked if Mukasey suffered a stroke. She had no information about his medical history, but promised to get a HIPPA form signed soon so she could review the incident.

Mukasey opened his speech on terrorism with a wry remark about expecting the mood at the conservative Federalist Society dinner to be "somber or sober." Then all hell broke loose. He slumped over the podium about 15 minutes later after slurring his words and was seen swaying and shaking slightly. Drool dripped from his mouth. His face turned a bright red. His limbs shook. No doubt, this was a terrorist attack of the Black-Tie kind.

Three or four men in suits, depending on your definition of men and/or suits, rushed on stage and caught him at the lectern. One or two of the men yelled, "You got him?"

"Oh, no, no!" people in the audience cried out as Mukasey fell. "Oh, my God!"

Mukasey, a retired federal judge, is President Bush's third attorney general. The flinty (flinty?) New Yorker has said the job initially discouraged him, and he has scaled back his public appearances in recent weeks.

A former prosecutor who saw Mukasey hours earlier described the attorney general as tired-looking and drawn. "Frankly, I thought he was going to die in front of me. He told me he was just old and sick. He likes to kid."

Justice spokesman Peter Carr said Mukasey did not transfer his power to Deputy Attorney General Mark Filip and would find out why this had not happened as a matter of national security. Some speculate Mukaskey did not do so because he was unconscious.

"The attorney general is conscious, conversant and alert," Carr said after Mukasey was hospitalized. "His vital statistics are strong and he is in good spirits. Other than collapsing for no reason whatsoever, he is in perfect physical condition."

After collapsing, Mukasey lay on the stage for about 10 minutes being attended to by his FBI security detail and medical personnel at the dinner, said eyewitness Abigail Thernstrom, a senior fellow at the Manhattan Institute. Though he lost consciousness initially, Mukasey appeared to be awake when he was taken from the Marriott Wardman Park Hotel in northwest Washington, she said.

"It was hard to watch such a thing," Thernstrom said. "It was horrible. It was as if the man were 67-years old with a serious medical conditon late at night."

A Republican staffer on the Senate Judiciary Committee, Jack Daly, who was also at the dinner, said in an e-mail to colleagues sent at 10:20 p.m. EST: "AG Mukasey collapsed in the middle of his keynote address at tonight's fed-soc dinner. He is still on stage after ten minutes and his security detail has called 911. The paramedics just arrived. Roger Red Robin."

Twenty minutes later, Daly added in another e-mail: "Red Robin. Mukasey did regain consciousness before he was taken away. That's a wrap, Red Robin."

President George W. Bush, scheduled to attend a weekend financial summit in Peru, was informed about Mukasey's collapse, press secretary Dana Perino said.

"I have looked into the mind of the president, and I can assure you the president has him in his thoughts. He will be kept apprised and hopes that he will be back up and at 'em again soon," she said. "If not up and at 'em, then, at least, up and about. If he is neither, the president is prepared to replace him quickly."

The Yeetle Master

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Yeetle Box - The Turtleman v. Joe the Plumber

I am a little tired of hearing about Joe the Plumber. His name is not Joe. He is not a plumber. After a lengthy search, I have found his nemesis: Ernie Brown, Jr., aka The Turtleman.

I have thrown my support behind The Turtleman because of his passion for his work and the unique way in which he represents real Americans.

He is The Yeetle Box's Man of Genius.

So, Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, you ready to take on The Turtleman?

The YeetleMaster

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Yeetle Box - God Willing...

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin says she wouldn't hesitate to run for the presidency in four years if it's God's will. Apparently, without God on the ticket, Palin does not have great hopes for winning the presidency in 2012. Governor Palin's handlers have hinted she is vetting God now for a possible run in 2012 or 2016.

"I'm like, OK, God, if there is an open door for me somewhere, this is what I always pray, I'm like, don't let me miss the open door," Palin said in an interview with Fox News on Monday.

"And if there is an open door in '12 or four years later, and if it is something that is going to be good for my family, for my state, for my nation, an opportunity for me, then I'll plow through that door. I'll plow through knowing God is plowin' with me."

"I think the Republican ticket represented too much of the status quo, too much of what had gone on in these last eight years, that Americans were kind of shaking their heads like going, wait a minute, how did we run up a $10 trillion debt in a Republican administration unless God wanted this? How have there been blunders with war strategy under a Republican administration? Especially known' that God is Republican," Palin said in a story published Sunday.

Palin has scheduled a series of national interviews this week with Fox, NBC's "Today" show and CNN - and, of course, the 700 Club. She also plans to attend the Republican Governors Association conference in Florida this week - God willing.

Palin has been prophesied as a possible presidential candidate in 2012 - Palin 12:16.

Certainly God could exercise certain influences in the meantime. She could seek re-election in 2010 or challenge Sen. Lisa Murkowski. Or, given that God has not shone brightly on Sen. Ted Stevens, who could be ousted by the Senate for his conviction on seven felony counts of failing to report more than $250,000 in gifts, mostly renovations on his home, Palin could run for Stevens' seat in a special election.

Palin's former pastor, Tim McGraw, says that like many Pentecostal churches, some members speak in tongues, although he says he's never seen Palin do so. Church member Caroline Spangler told CNN, "When the spirit comes on you, you utter things that nobody else can understand ... only God can understand what is coming out of our mouths."


Which explains a lot.


Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Yeetle Box - Tids of Bits

In Michigan a frozen chicken qualify as a deadly weapon.

A man stabbed his mother with a fork and pleaded guilty to felonious assault for hurling 10 pounds of frozen fowl at a neighbor.

The bird left the woman with a wound that required five surgical staples to close.

Frederick McKaney faces four years in prison.

****

Marking One's Territory

A Wisconsin man whose roommate refused to have sex with him got revenge by peeing on her dog.


Torey Devaux then shoved the woman's sister into a wall and punched out a window.

Police think the man was drunk.

****


Sausage Smuggling

Customs inspectors on the Texas-Mexico border discovered several links of spicy chorizo sausage hidden inside some chunky diapers whose owner, a 21-year-old woman, said they were merely soiled.


Taking sausages across the US border is illegal.

The woman was fined $300. The baby is fine.

****

Dude!

An Austrian tram driver was fired after bidding farewell to his passengers with the Nazi salute, "Sieg hiel!"


When the passengers booed him, he responded by saying, "Can't you take a joke?"

The transit authority didn't see the humor, calling the statement "unspeakable."

Use of Nazi symbols in Austria is a crime. The man was fined an undisclosed amount.

****

The YeetleMaster

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Yeetle Box - White Tuxedos and Top Hats

In a rural Tennessee county where you can't buy alcohol or even find a Wal-Mart, residents of tiny Bells stopped each other to ask if anyone knew the pale-skinned young local accused of plotting to kill dozens of black people, including Barack Obama.

It was a jolt to find out on Monday that a 20-year-old who grew up among them was one of two white supremacists accused of plotting a national killing spree that would ultimately target Obama, the Democratic candidate for president. Had they could have purchase alcohol or bought good or products from a Wal-Mart the whole mad and crazy plot could have been averted.

The town surrounded by fertile cotton fields is safe and certainly not known for breeding neo-Nazis - at least, none that anyone knew.

"If we had any skinheads in this county I wasn't aware of it. We hardly know what they are," said Sam Lewis, who lives across the street from the mother of suspect Daniel Cowart. Cowart, he said, grew up in the comfortable, well-maintained neighborhood and wasn't known as a troublemaker. "Sure he caused some trouble, but that doesn't make him a skinhead. Skinheads hang around Wal-Marts. We don't have a Wal-Mart."

Cowart and Schlesselman are charged by federal authorities with possessing an unregistered firearm, conspiring to steal firearms from a federally licensed gun dealer and threatening a candidate for president. They were being held without bond.

In direct contradiction with locals, authorities described the two as neo-Nazi skinheads. An affidavit from a federal agent says they devised a plot to kill 88 people — beheading 14 of them.

The numbers 14 and 88 are symbols in skinhead culture, authorities said, referring to a 14-word phrase attributed to an imprisoned white supremacist: "We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white, Christian children" and to the eighth letter of the alphabet, H. Two "8"s or "H"s stand for "Heil Hitler." Actually, it's a 15-word phrase, but skinheads believe the word "Christian" is silent.

The killing spree was initially to target a predominantly black school, which was not identified in court documents. It was to end, authorities said, with the two suspects — dressed in white tuxedos and top hats — blasting guns from the windows of a speeding vehicle aimed at Obama.

White tuxedos and top hats?

Jim Cavanaugh, special agent in charge of the Nashville, Tenn., field office for the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco Firearms and Explosives, said authorities took the threats seriously.

At this point, there does not appear to be any formal assassination plan, Secret Service spokesman Eric Zahren said.

"Whether or not they had the capability or the wherewithal to carry out an attack remains to be seen," he said, loaded guns and a plan and motivation notwithstanding.

The investigation is continuing and more charges are possible, Cavanaugh said. He said there's no evidence — so far — that others were willing to assist Cowart and Schlesselman with the plot - other than those attending a John McCain rally - and those people don't count.

Sarah Palin spoke of that matter later that day, as she stumped in Pennsylvania, saying, "This is just more evidence that Obama hangs out with terrorists. Skinheads with white tuxedos and top hats without access to a Wal-Mart."

The crowd cheered.

The YeetleMaster

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Yeetle Box - Hey Joe! Where You Goin'....?

“Joe the plumber,” if that's his real name, the new face of middle-class America isn’t technically a plumber.

Joe the plumber - aka Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, 34, of suburban Toledo, Ohio — is the first to say that he’s not the story and that no one should listen to him when it comes to tax policy. Good thinking, Joe.

“I just hope I’m not making too much of a fool of myself and can get some type of message out there as far as, you know, really watch actions and learn for yourself,” Wurzelbacher said. “Don’t take other people’s opinions. No one's opinions. Not mine especially. I'm just a plumber.”



Or is he?

  • Wurzelbacher, not Wurzellburger, as McCain referred to him, isn’t a plumber, because he isn’t licensed by Toledo, Lucas County or the state of Ohio. (Oops!)

  • Wurzelbacher said he worked under the license held by his boss, Al Newell of Newell Plumbing and Heating Co. of Toledo. Newell is a licensed plumbing contractor in Toledo, records show. But anyone working under Newell should have a journeyman’s plumbing license or an apprenticeship license, officials said. Joe the "not a plumber" does not hold a license for either. (You mean, I'm NOT a plumber?)

  • Now, The Toledo Plumbing Board of Control may consider sanctions against Wurzelbacher or Newell. (Is that like a tax?)

  • "There’s a lot I’ve got to learn” about the plumbing business."

Wurzelbacher also acknowledged that he had no specific plans for buying Newell’s business, saying he and Newell had simply talked about the idea from time to time. He might have difficulty making the purchase: Court records from his divorce show that Wurzelbacher made $40,000 in 2006. (A man can dream.)

While Wurzelbacher told Obama that he would be taxed at a higher rate because the company grossed more than $250,000 a year, Ohio business records show the company’s estimated total annual revenue as only $100,000. Actual taxable income would be even less than that. (Hey! Does that mean I get a tax break? Sure does!)

Assuming Wurzelbacher’s income as owner somehow hit $280,000 — the top end of his supposition of the company’s revenue — only the extra $30,000 would be taxed at a higher rate. (Hey! You said I would get a tax break! What gives?)

  • Joe says Obama would be ‘hurting others like him. Analysts calculated that the extra tax would amount to $900, which would likely be more than offset by separate provisions of Obama’s plan: a 50 percent tax credit for health care and elimination of the capital gains tax for small businesses. (Oh...)














  • Wurzelbacher, a registered Republican, refused to say whom he would vote for, insisting that “I want the American people to vote for who they want to vote for. I just want them to be informed when they make that vote. Unlike me.”

    Jimi the Guitarist speaks to Joe the Plumber




    The YeetleMaster

    Wednesday, October 22, 2008

    Yeetle Box - Bachman Turns

    Republican Rep. Michele Bachmann says she regrets using the term "anti-American" while discussing Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama's views, a remark that could threaten her re-election bid, helping her opponent, Democrat Elwyn Tinklenberg raise more than $1 million dollars in a just a few days.

    Bachmann told the St. Cloud Times on Tuesday that she "made a big mistake" by going on MSNBC's "Hardball," a show she said she'd never seen before her appearance last week - which, if she had, she probably would have spoken more eloquently about other, less inflammatory issues such as Obama's association with terrorists and Obama's secret Muslim faith.

    Earlier in the day, Bachmann told St. Cloud Rotary Club members she would like to "take back" the statement.

    "I did not say that Barack Obama was anti-American, nor do I believe Barack Obama is anti-American. He loves his country, just as everyone in this room does," she told the crowd. "Nor did I call for an investigation of members of Congress for their pro-American or anti-American views. That is not what I said."

    What did she say?




    Oh. Well, that's different.

    The Rotary Club luncheon was her first formal public appearance since Friday's interview, in which Matthews asked Bachmann if she believed Obama held anti-American views.

    Her response was: "Absolutely. I'm very concerned that he may have anti-American views. That's what the American people are concerned about. That's why they want to know what his answers are."

    Bachmann said Tuesday she probably should have watched "Hardball" to see what it was like before she went on it.

    Tinklenberg's campaign issued a notice that he was ready to play hardball with Bachmann. No one responded.

    Monday, October 20, 2008

    Yeetle Box - Chambers v God: The Appeal

    A Nebraska lawmaker says he may appeal after an Omaha judge tossed his suit against God because there was no evidence the defendant had been served papers. There was also no evidence he had not served papers.

    Douglas County District Judge Marlon Polk said another factor in his decision to throw out the lawsuit, which was brought by state Sen. Ernie Chambers, I-Omaha, was the fact "there can never be service effectuated on the named defendant."

    Chambers' suit, which was filed in September 2007, had sought a permanent injunction preventing the almighty from bringing about earthquakes, tornadoes and other acts of natural violence. Chambers is NOT the anti-Christ, but a thoughtful legislator committed to representing his constituents who consist primarily of people who have waited a long time to meet God face-to-face in a courtroom smackdown.

    The lawmaker said he may appeal Polk's decision. Chambers noted that there is precedent in that many letters are sent to Santa Claus, though no evidence exists of these letters, yet are accepted as having been sent and received. In addition, he noted that many people communicate with God via prayer, an accepted form of conveying information to and from God.

    "It is a thoughtful, well-written opinion," Chambers said of Polk's ruling. "However, like any prudent litigator, I want to study it in detail before I determine what my next course of action will be. These are grave matters."

    Chambers, a 28-year veteran of the state Legislature, said, "Nobody should stand at the courthouse door to predetermine who has access to the courts," he said. "Anyone can sue anyone else, even God."

    The YeetleMaster

    Monday, October 13, 2008

    The Famous Wang Hao!

    Olympic table tennis medalist Wang Hao will undergo team-mandated counseling after reportedly getting into a fight with a security guard who was trying to stop him from urinating outside a karaoke club. This is a particularly specialized type of counseling that caters only to drunk Olympic athletes who urinate outside of karaoke clubs.

    Witnesses said Wang emerged drunk from the club last Thursday, attempted to urinate outside the building, then came to blows with the security guard - rather, began to scuffle with the security guard, according to Wang's agent.

    "I am the famous Wang Hao! I am the world champion! Does it matter if I beat you?" the 24-year-old Olympian said, according to one witness. Wang's fame increased exponentially after the incident and this exclamation.

    A Chinese table tennis team spokesperson downplayed the incident, saying it was only a heated exchange of words. According to the spokesperson, "All drunken Olympic athletes who urinate outside kareoke clubs, then declare their superiority and scuffle with police go through this kind of phase. It's normal."

    "There was no drunkenness or brawling. There was just an argument," China national team manager Huang Biao was quoted as saying in Monday's Shanghai Morning Post.

    "Because Wang is a celebrity, the story has been amplified. This happens across the globe everywhere on any given day! Forget it Jake, it's Chinatown."
    The YeetleMaster

    Saturday, October 11, 2008

    Yeetle Box - Don't Ask, Just Look

    Near Phnom Penh, Cambodia, in a rural area of outside the capital of Cambodia, a couple has terminated their 18-year marriage with a divorce settlement that entailed sawing in two the wooden house they once shared.

    The husband, 42-year-old Moeun Sarim, has taken away with him all the bits and pieces of his half a house, said his 35-year-old wife, Vat Navy.

    "Very strange, but this is what my husband wanted," she said byy phone from a village about 62 miles east of Cambodia's capital, Phnom Penh. She said they ended their marriage last month. She plans to rebuild - her life.

    "He brought his relatives and used saws to cut the house in half," she said, adding that she now owns the other half that is still standing. The house is made from wood with a tile roof and propped up on wooden pillars, a typical style for a Cambodian country home.

    She said her estranged husband and his relatives, after ripping apart half of the house, carried all the debris to his parents' house nearby where he crushes the debris repeatedly into smaller and smaller halves.

    The divorce was prompted by Moeun Sarim's jealousy about her alleged relationship with a policeman in the village. She denied having an extramarital affair. The policeman could not be reached for comment.

    Vat Navy noted that Article 39 of Cambodian law covering cause for divroce clearly tabulates the grounds for divorce thus:

    1. desertion without a good reason and without maintenance of and taking care of the child;
    2. cruelty and beatings, persecutions and looking down on the other spouse or his or her ancestry;
    3. immoral behavior, bad conduct;
    4. impotence of penis; and
    5. Physical separation for more than one year.

    "Maybe there is something he isn't telling me. He wanted a divorce, and I said, `Let's divorce,'" she said. "Then, he said, 'Fine!' Then, I said, Fine! Then he said he was owed half of everything. And I said, Whaddya gonna do, cut the house in half?"

    The husband could not be reached for comment, but was last seen with an axe and a chainsaw, mumbling something about in-laws.

    Bou Bout, a village chief, said local officials and police were present as witnesses the day the couple split their 20-by-24 1/2 foot house into half. Unlike Western police, who would have prevented this action, Cambodians pride themselves on their "Don't ask, just look," policy when it comes to sawing houses in half.

    "Local officials tried three times to get them to mend their differences, but the husband would not budge," Bou Bout said by phone. "He just sat fuming for a long time, then threw saws at the local officials."



    The YeetleMaster

    Thursday, October 09, 2008

    Yeetle Box - Shocking Palin Photo!

    Shocking! Disturbing! Ridculously unfair!

    You can't really see it,

    but...

    THE LIBERAL MEDIA HAS GONE TOO FAR!




    UNRETOUCHED?
    MY GOD,
    WHAT NEXT?

    Yeetle Box - Polygraph Debate in Indiana

    Ninth District Republican Party Chairman Larry Shickles proposed political polygraphs for Democratic Rep. Baron Hill, GOP challenger Mike Sodrel and Libertarian candidate Eric Schansberg.

    Shickles, in a letter sent Tuesday to 9th District Democratic Chairman Mike Jones, suggested that the candidates be hooked up to lie detecting machines at the Oct. 21 event or a separate debate.

    "While this format may be unusual, I feel strongly that voters need to be able to make a clear decision without all the usual spin," Shickles wrote, which, according to "brain fingering" technology was a lie.

    Sodrel's campaign said he would agree to the proposal (a lie according to body language experts), and Schansberg said he also would agree to wear a lie detector (again, a lie according to the same body language experts). Hill declined to comment for fear his comments would register as a lie on a polygraph.

    The race pits Hill and Sodrel against each other for the fourth time. Sodrel unseated Hill in 2004, but Hill won the seat back in 2006. The three are scheduled to debate Oct. 21, but an official with a debate co-sponsor said lie detectors won't be included - which is a lie, according to Sodrel, who was lying.


    Wednesday, October 08, 2008

    Yeetle Box - Fact Checking the Debate

    Democrat Barack Obama and Republican John McCain stretched facts, sometimes past the breaking point, as they addressed the financial crisis and more during their second presidential debate. Luckily for you, my friends, we have fact-checked each candidate's assertions and have provided you with the much needed service of correcting the record.

    Here are the five biggest whoppers!

    McCAIN: In Texas, it's against the law for anyone to have a pair of pliers in his or her possession.

    THE FACTS: This law was repealed in 1995. However, it is still illegal in Texas to own more than five "skin massagers."
    ___


    McCAIN: McCain declared that his vice-presidential nominee, as Governor of Alaska, banned moose-gazing from aircrafts.

    THE FACTS: Alaska law says that you can't look at a moose from an airplane. Ms. Palin has been seen repeatedly looking at moose from a small aircraft.

    ___

    OBAMA: Said the law bans eating more food in a lifetime than five whale sharks.

    THE FACTS: The law allows a natural born citizen to eat about 60,000 pounds of food - the weight of about 6 elephants.
    ___

    McCAIN: Asserted wrongfully that he pushed through legislation requiring the White House to use disposable plastic cutlery.

    THE FACTS: In the White House, there are 13,092 knives, forks and spoons - all metal.
    ___


    OBAMA: Stated he was born in Hawaii and came from humble beginnings.

    THE FACTS: Honolulu is the only place in the United States that has a royal palace.
    ___

    "DID I JUST HEAR THAT RIGHT?" MOMENT

    McCain on Obama, brought up taxes and said, “You can’t trust this guy. He lies.”

    Obama retaliated, "No! He lies!"

    Once again, political history was made.

    The YeetleMaster

    Tuesday, October 07, 2008

    Yeetle Box - State of the Union


    I see our country being able to represent those things whether that is part of the solution or not and we must not blink.

    — Sarah Palin Fictional Quote Generator v1.0

    Welcome, fellow patriots and friends of the United States of America to USA Patriotism! where it is all about expressing, sharing, and enjoying love and pride of this great, noble country.

    We found two notable citizens representative the USA who have unique ways of expressing their love of and/or devotion to this great country which God has bleseed.



    From Fort Myers...

    A Fort Myers, Fla., man was arrested after he allegedly shot himself in the arm because his girlfriend refused to have sex. There were no details as to whether or not she refused oral, vaginal, or anal sex.

    Jonathon Guabello, 29, was treated for the gunshot wound and then booked into the Lee County Jail on charges of threatening violence and firing a weapon in an occupied dwelling. Said the arresting officer, "Had he fired in an unoccupied dwelling, he would have been within the sprit of the law."

    Guabello's 24-year-old girlfriend said the suspect had been under the influence of Xanax and alcohol when he became enraged at her refusal of his sexual overtures - two controlled substances that in combination makes one very sleepy.

    She said she took her dog with her into a spare bedroom then heard two gunshots several minutes later. Her dog barked. She jumped.

    The girlfriend said Guabello told her he would kill her if she dialed 911, and then stumbled into the kitchen where he was knocked unconscious when he tripped and hit his head on the oven door - a common occurrence for a Xanax and alcohol-induced, gun-toting, sex-deprived young man.

    Guabello was realeased on his own cognizance but banned for 90 days from using Viagra.


    ==============================================================

    From New York...

    A New York man said he was confused about his route before he drove into the front of a map store in his sport utility vehicle - luckily for him!

    Rodney Bailey said he was disoriented after leaving a parking garage at about 8 a.m. Thursday and made a right turn that landed him and his Ford Expedition inside a Hagstrom Map shop. "I guess I'm just a lucky guy," said Rodney. "At least I got directions."

    Police said two women were clipped by the SUV and were hospitalized with non-critical injuries. However, the women clipping was not considered to be due to Rodney's disorientation, but, rather, to the fact that THEY were disoriented at the time.

    The crash was ruled an accident by police and Bailey was not charged with any wrongdoing. He was, however, charged with acting really stupid and sentenced to a tongue-lashing by an appellate judge at a time and day to be determined.

    The map store re-opened later in the day despite the loss of a plate glass window. Said the owner, "People need maps more than ever now!"


    ==============================================================

    And I'm proud to be an American,
    where at least I know I'm free.
    And I won't forget the men who died,
    who gave that right to me.
    ~Lee Greenwood




    The YeetleMaster

    Monday, October 06, 2008

    Yeetle Box - Coke Explodes Sperm, and other great discoveries.

    A researcher figured out that Coke explodes sperm. Scientists discovered people will happily eat stale chips if they crunch loudly enough.

    What do they have in common? Each won "Ig Nobel" prizes Thursday.

    Other winners: Physicists who found out that anything that can tangle, will tangle and a team of biologists who ascertained that dog fleas jump farther than cat fleas.





    More about Coke...

    Deborah Anderson of Boston University Medical Center and colleagues were awarded the chemistry prize for a 1985 study published in the New England Journal of Medicine that found Coca-Cola kills sperm. However, there was no cross-testing on Pepsi, RC Cola, or Dr. Pepper. Dr. Pepper might not be classified as a cola technically. This is still under review from the Scientists for Colas Board. A ruling is expected by 2012.

    Ms. Anderson said she was serious in testing the soft drink because women were using it in a douche as a contraceptive and, later, to try to protect themselves from the AIDS virus. Some women just liked the fizzy feeling.

    "It definitely wouldn't work as a contraceptive because sperm swims so fast," Anderson said. However, Coke made with sugar quickly kills sperm, she said, probably because sperm soak it up. "The sperm just kind of explode," she said in a telephone interview.

    Currently, Ms. Anderson is working on research that looks at the pattern of protein blasts of exploding sperm. Her research is cross-cultural.


    It kills the AIDS virus too, she said.
    And increases penis sizes by 25 percent among soft-shelled turtles.
    Other findings of her research included that Coke Cola was established in 1886 and today owns 4 of the world's top 5 nonalcoholic sparkling beverage brands. Coke Cola Company employs 90,500 associates worldwide and operates in more than 200 countries.

    Of note, Ms. Anderson's research reveals 1.5 billion Consumer Servings per day.

    Said Ms. Anderson, "There is enough Coke in the world to cure nearly any known disease. One day the Coke Cola Company will be the world's largest pharmaceutical company. Period."

    Other research of note....

    The Ig Nobel committee made up a "nutrition prize" to go to Massimiliano Zampini of the University of Trento, Italy and Charles Spence of Britain's Oxford University, who tricked people into thinking they were eating fresh potato chips by playing them loud, crunching sounds when they bit one. Using a concealed "boom box," researchers played the sounds of different animals chewing on various carcasses - to the delight of the unsuspecting test subjects. Lions gnawing on zebra bones seemed to be their favorite with a standard deviation of .004.

    • The biology prize goes to a French team that found dog fleas can jump higher than cat fleas. NO actual research was done. This is still hypothetical, but the prize is in the hypothesis which blazes a trail in flea-jumping research - an area of study that has long since been inaccessible due to the lack of funding from the scientific community.

    • The medicine prize was awarded to a team at Duke University in North Carolina who showed that high-priced placebos work better than cheap fake medicine. That is, patented placebos elicit a greater patient response than generic placebos.

    • Dorian Raymer of the Scripps Institution in San Diego and a colleague won the physics prize for demonstrating mathematically why hair or a ball of string will inevitably tangle itself in knots. The mathematical formula was presented thus: K = BS (T) / PI.

      The peace prize was given to the Swiss Federal Ethics Committee on Non-Human Biotechnology for adopting the legal principle that plants have moral standing and dignity. Until this breakthrough, it was commonly held by the scientific community that plants failed to meet the criteria for sentience. Further work in establishing vegetative rights is underway for presentation to the Swiss chapter of People for the Ethical Rights of Plants (PERP).



    • A team at The University of Sao Paulo in Brazil won a special archaeology prize for showing how an armadillo can mess up an archaeological dig. Their research consisted of dumping truckloads of armadillos into an archeological dig, then observing the interaction between the armadillos and the archeologists. In 100 percent of the cases, the interactions proved negative and destructive to the archeological dig.



    • The economics prize went to researchers at the University of New Mexico who learned that a professional lap dancer earns bigger tips when she is most fertile. Something about phernomes...

    • David Sims of Cass Business School in London won the literature prize "for his lovingly written study 'You Bastard: A Narrative Exploration of the Experience of Indignation within Organizations'," the committee said.
    Past winners include the creator of the plastic pink flamingo, a researcher who recorded a mallard duck sodomizing a dead drake and a doctor who cured hiccups by applying digital rectal massage.