Authorities in Valentine, Nebraska, have been on the lookout since November for the vandal who has approached several storefronts at night and, apparently with Vaseline smeared over his nude body, pressed himself against windows and doors. Donned as "the buttcheek bandit" by a local radio station, some speculate there might be a copycat based on "forensic science."
Asked Valentine Police Chief Ben McBride, "Who in their right mind would do something like that?"
Chief McBride, two words, sir: Tom Cruise.
Well! He would!
The Yeetle Box
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