Yeetle Box - Fat Chance Legislation

More than 30 percent of adults in Mississippi are considered obese, according to a 2007 study by the Trust for America's Health, a research group that focuses on disease prevention and obese adults in Mississippi apparently.

After reading the study, Republican Rep. John Read of Gautier, Mississippi wants to ban restaurants from serving food to obese customers, though Rep Read says he never even expected his plan to become law. Of course, this is standard legislative process - declare an absurd position, then introduce legislation, then watch the legislation vanish into thin, bureacratic air.

Said Rep. Read, "I was trying to shed a little light on the number one problem in Mississippi," acknowledging that at 5-foot-11 and 230 pounds, he'd probably have a tough time under his own bill. "But," he stated, "Executive privilege does apply here. I can eat wherever I want. It's the Bubba's I'm concerned about."

Perhaps he should shed a few pounds as well. Mississippi is one of the few states whose House is made of glass.

The state House Public Health Committee chairman, Democrat Steve Holland of Plantersville, said he is going to "shred" the bill. "Not only shred it," she said, "but shred, sautee it, and eat it with a ton of lard! Then, I'm going to follow that up with an entire cherry pie! It's going to be a binge strike, if you will."

Holland continued. "It is too oppressive for government to require a restaurant owner to police another human being from their own indiscretions. What are restaurant owners supposed to do? 'Welcome to MacDonalds, could you come back when you've at your ideal body weight?'"

The bill had no specifics about how obesity would be defined, or how restaurants were supposed to determine if a customer was obese. Al Stamps, who owns a restaurant in Jackson, said it is "absurd" for the state to consider telling him which customers he can't serve. He and his wife, Kim, do a bustling lunch business at Cool Al's, which serves big burgers - beef or veggie - and specialty foods like "Sassy Momma Sweet Potato Fries."

"There is a better way to deal with health issues than to impose those kind of regulations," Al Stamps said. "I'm sorry - you can't do it by treating adults like children and telling them what they can and cannot eat. For this reason I support universal health care."

The Yeetle Box