Thursday, March 06, 2008

Yeetle Box - A Bug's World


The Seattle Biomedical Research Institute will pay volunteers as much as $4,000 to be bitten by mosquitoes infected with malaria. Scientists say no lives are in danger because the volunteers can be cured - either by known medical practices or by terminal illness resulting from complications from the experimental vaccine.

The institute is testing which vaccines work fastest and needs volunteers. "$4,000 is a lot of money for a college kid or a kid just out of high school or a senior citizen or any number of people desperate for cash," said a spokesman for the Institute with great enthusiasm. "Basically, the downturn in the economy provides the circumstances for an uptick in our research. It's a win-lose situation we can live with."

The head of the program, Dr. Patrick Duffy, said volunteers will spend several nights under medical supervision in a hotel. "We're thinking a Motel 8 in the deep south would be appropriate. Survivors will be upgraded to a Best Western."

All of the human trials will be reviewed for safety by the Food and Drug Administration - the government agency that brought you Vioxx!

A spokesman for PETA expressed outrage at the risk to the mosquitoes, saying, "Our core value is violated here. We support cruelty-free research. What guarantee does the Seattle Biomedical Research Institute offer the mosquito that they will not be harmed in these unnecessary experiments? None. What compensation? None. It's an outrage."

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